There’s a part of our brain that too often sits dormant. It’s that part of the brain that is located right behind our forehead. It’s this region of our brain that is considered the seat of complex thought. Known as the cerebral cortex, it’s responsible for some very important things such as moral reasoning, critical and creative thinking, planning for the future, decision-making, impulse control, and the will.
Unfortunately, this rational – in accordance with reason or logic –frontal lobe is often hijacked by the “amygdala” …the almond-shaped emotional center of our brain located deep within the brain’s medial temporal lobe – I know it’s tortuous terminology describing an anatomical labyrinth of tunnels and chambers – but it’s important to grapple with the concepts if we are to answer such questions as:
Are we rational human beings? Do we follow all forms of logic? Do we only act if it feels right? Do we want the facts all the time?
In your own experience, have you ever tried to persuade an emotional person with logic?
We generally think we make decisions based on facts, but in reality this is not the case. The truth is that a healthy decision-making process relies on a balance between emotion and its partner, logic. We should guard against relying entirely on emotion until our logical side has been engaged. If we are to make sound decisions, logic must take the lead role in building a foundation for emotion.
In 1995, psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman (wrote for a dozen years for The New York Times, reporting on the brain and behavioral sciences), published a book introducing the world to the evolving concept of emotional intelligence. The idea that an ability to understand and manage emotions greatly increases our chances of success.
So what is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?
EQ is the ability to identify, understand, and manage our emotions. Since this quality helps us to balance emotions with rational thought, it can greatly increase our ability to make good decisions and to build deep, quality relationships. EQ has also been found to be a great asset to companies looking to gain insights into leadership and management and improve their entire corporate culture.
Justin Bariso, author, speaker, and consultant whose thoughts on leadership and EQ draw over a million readers a month (LinkedIn named him a “Top Voice” in the field of management and workplace culture three years in a row), in his book EQ Applied, published in May 2018, identifies 13 Signs of High Emotional Intelligence. I’ll just reference a few of them:
You think about feelings.
Emotional intelligence begins with what is called self- and social awareness, the ability to recognize emotions (and their impact) in both yourself and others.
That awareness begins with reflection. You ask questions like:
What are my emotional strengths? What are my weaknesses?
How does my current mood affect my thoughts and decision-making?
What’s going on under the surface that influences what others say or do?
You pause.
Pausing helps you refrain from making a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.
You benefit from criticism.
Nobody enjoys negative feedback. But you know that criticism is a chance to learn, even if it’s not delivered in the best way. And even when it’s unfounded, it gives you a window into how others think.
When you receive negative feedback, you keep your emotions in check and ask yourself: How can this make me better?
You show authenticity.
“Authenticity doesn’t mean sharing everything about yourself, to everyone, all of the time. It does mean saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and sticking to your values and principles above all else.
You demonstrate empathy.
The ability to show empathy, which includes understanding others’ thoughts and feelings, helps you connect with others. Instead of judging or labeling others, you work hard to see things through their eyes.
You don’t always say, ‘Yes.’
It’s not that emotionally intelligent people never say yes – it’s just that they’re much more careful about it. They make the tough choices, because they know it’s all about focus [prioritizing].
You keep your commitments.
“It’s common nowadays for people to break an agreement or commitment when they feel like it.”
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” – Dale Carnegie
Before you grow brain-weary, I’ll conclude with this thought …
“A genuine leader will never exploit your emotions or your pocketbook.” – Eugene Peterson
As Pulitzer Prizewinning poet Robert Frost observed, “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
Former Cook County Commissioner Garry Gamble is writing this ongoing column about the various ways government works, as well as other topics. At times the column is editorial in nature.
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