Things

 

Who hasn’t heard Julie Andrews belt out Rodgers and Hammerstein’s, “My Favorite Things,” in the 1965 film adaptation of the Broadway musical The Sound of Music, one of the most endearing show tunes from a musical that contains more hit songs than any other on which the innovative theater writing team would collaborate.

But this column isn’t a treatise on memorable musicals. It’s about distinguishing the difference between “things” and “people.”

How often do we find ourselves treating people as “things”: “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens; bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens”?

People are not things!

People are not soulless, inanimate objects without life or consciousness, immune to emotion. People are living, perceiving, feeling beings, created in the image of God–fearfully and wonderfully made–according to the psalmist David–profoundly complex, psychophysical beings sharing mental and physical qualities.

American author and biochemist, Isaac Asimov (1920–1992), professed the human brain is “. . . the most complicated organization of matter that we know.”

I, for one, identify with the “complicated” aspect; however, as to the “organization” . . . well, that’s another “matter.”

In reality, it is the soul of human beings that especially bears God’s image: mind, will, and emotion. Humans are set apart from all other creatures by their ability to make moral judgments; that is, discern between what is right and wrong.

While this may true, one may question whether we consistently avail ourselves of this distinction.

In many cultures, the heart is seen as the center of our emotions. Our hearts think, feel, and remember, but also choose every course of action. “Out of the heart flow the issues of life,” wrote King Solomon, a man who possessed both a far-reaching intellect as well as large and ready sympathies. “Above everything else, guard your heart,” he cautioned, “for it is the source of life’s consequences. Everything you do comes from it.” The medical science apostle, Luke, echoes Solomon’s advice, “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

On a daily basis, our interactions with others divulges, “what the heart is full of.”

There’s an excellent quote attributed to English moralist Samuel Johnson, “The true measure of a person is how he treats someone who can do him or her no good.”

Those who have grown accustomed to seeing people as “things,” will continue to manipulate people; solely as “a means to their end.” Whether it be those closest to us: our spouse, former spouse and children; employers and their employees; attention-seeking school administrations parading students before the media; political activists enlisting the susceptible and impressionable among us; unscrupulous marketers hawking their wares . . . the list goes on.

“People users” violate the belief in a just world.

Those who expect life to happen on their terms–what they want when they want–are undeniably self-focused twenty-four-seven; life, for them, needs to remain self-serving, “user-friendly” . . . accommodating.

Life isn’t like that.

One of the greatest gifts you can give a person is to abandon your personal agenda and invest in theirs. Look, not just into their pleading eyes, but deep into their languishing soul. Listen, not just with open ears, but with an open heart.

One of the most valued compliments I have received in this life, is from a friend–an author–who commented, “While there are many who hear my words; you, alone, have heard my soul.”

Unfortunately, much of the world remains oblivious to just how fragile– and therefore, vulnerable–our fellow human beings can be. Calloused to the point where we have become desensitized to the authentic and reasonable emotional needs of others.

I am reminded of the oft-quoted words of American author Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862), “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” What misfortune, should we prevent others from singing that song?

German-born American social psychologist Erick Fromm authored an article that appeared in the March 17, 1957 issue of the Saturday Review, “Man Is Not a Thing.” Fromm warns of the consequences of treating people as “things.” He believes, “treated and manipulated like a thing,” so-called “human relations” may actually be “the most inhuman kind.”

Many of you reading this can attest to this, first-hand.

Fromm calls attention to the original meaning of psychology: “knowledge of the soul” (psyche: soul, spirit, mind, innermost self).

What kind of emotional climate do we create for others when we treat people as “things”? Are we even aware of the evidence that behavior is often caused, and we may be the principal debilitating agent?

Any number of things: broken promises, physical and emotional abuse, adultery, divorce, hypocrisy, own-way-ness, and the resulting, unrelenting conflict, bitterness, anger and revenge can easily erode and eventually destroy relationships.

Do we possess the self-control . . . the will . . . the courage . . . the personal integrity to . . .

“Love people, not things; use things, not people.” –Spencer W. Kimball

Former Cook County Commissioner Garry Gamble is writing this ongoing column about the various ways government works, as well as other topics.