Identifying negative emotions or negative thoughts about yourself or others can help start the process of forgiveness. Forgiveness is shown to have multiple benefits for both emotional and physical health. An article in Counseling Today identified decreased anger, stress and depression as related to forgiving. Additional physical benefits include decreased muscle tension, headaches and stomachaches.
Forgiving is not about the act of saying, “I’m sorry” or attempting to brush something away and ignore it. Forgiving is about finding a way to let go of the emotional impact or negativity it has on you. It is separate from what others do or say as we have no control over them. Forgiveness is an internal and individual process specifically for you.
What patterns of negativity are getting in the way of your happiness? Does it root in forgiving someone or yourself? What might happen if you decided to forgive? What is getting in the way of forgiving?
Often, the barrier is the actual thing you are seeking to release: release from pain, release from patterns of negativity, release of negative emotions. Initially, acknowledging the pain or hurt can be difficult.
We are programmed to attempt to avoid pain as a result of our genetics. When asked to identify the pain, it can bring that pain to the forefront. By acknowledging it, the energy taken to hiding or holding on to that pain can release. You can then develop a plan to move forward.
After identifying what will be beneficial to forgive, you acknowledge the feelings and thoughts around forgiving. If you were to forgive, how would that change your own thoughts and feelings about yourself?
After thinking about the answers to those questions, find a way to express those thoughts and feelings. Forms of expression include writing, drawing, intentional breathing, or physical outlets. The intention of this exercise is not that you will need to specifically say something to someone, but more that you act on your own self-discovery and start the process of working through forgiveness.
Each month a local mental health therapist will discuss an area of mental health. This month’s contributor is Kelly Senty, MA, LPCC. Kelly is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor working in private practice at Steps of Change LLC.
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