When I was a kid, I was afraid of my very own make believe monster that lived under my bed at night. My parents would turn the hall light on to keep the beast away. I remember this fear lasting several years. Around age 10, I suddenly realized my parents no longer left the light on and my monster was gone. I grew out of it of course, but it was very real to me at the time.
Most people have at least some struggles with the emotion of fear. Even as adults, fear can rear its ugly head and cause us to make choices that aren’t always in our best interest. Yet, fear is a necessary emotion. It often keeps us out of danger, it encourages us to make safe decisions, it teaches us not to touch a hot stove or feed an alligator a bite of our hot dog.
But sometimes you can be afraid of something that’s not really dangerous, like bugs or bad dreams. When fears strike, there are some ways to beat them back or at least move from scared to nervous. Here are a few examples of things you and your family can do to help relieve unjustifiable fears.
Fear of animals…
It’s common to be afraid of some kind of animal. It may be a dog or cat or snakes or bats or bears. You may have had a bad experience or you may just not like the looks of them or you may have heard a scary story somewhere along the way. If you feel ready to tackle this fear, start by going to the library and checking out some books about your feared animal. Look at the pictures, read about the animal and learn all that you can. If the pictures scare you, put the book down for a little while and go do something to clear your mind like go for a walk, or shoot some baskets and then try again.
Step two is to watch the animal in motion on a video. Start with cartoons if need be and then work your way to a nature documentary-type program. The library usually has a nice selection to choose from.
Step three is to close your eyes and imagine that you are in the presence of the feared animal. For example, you may want to pretend you are walking a dog if dogs are what you fear. If it is bats, pretend you are camping and there are a few bats flying around your campfire.
Step four is to be in the presence of your feared animal in a safe way. Perhaps this means a visit to the pound or humane society, or a trip to the zoo, or maybe one of your neighbors has a friendly pet snake. If you are still nervous but at least less scared, give yourself credit for making progress and continue contact until you feel comfortable. With time and effort, your fear will slowly go away.
Fear of flying…
If you are afraid of flying, take some time to learn about planes and how they stay in the air, about turbulence and what the cause of it is and perhaps you would feel better if you knew about the safety regulations involved in flying. If possible, arrange to meet a pilot and get a tour of the cockpit and/or visit the air traffic control room.
Visualize how fun it would be to watch the clouds and the land below or if that is too much, think about the movies you can watch while flying. Once again find some videos of what it’s like to fly. If possible, take a short plane ride with someone you trust and who can be there for you on your first real plane ride.
Facing fear is all about gradually learning about what you are fearful of. Be slow and gentle with yourself and take small steps towards your goal. Don’t go too fast and force yourself to do something you aren’t ready for. Don’t give up, even if you feel you are going in the wrong direction. With time, you will be able to face your fear no matter what it is!
Kelly Dupre of Grand Marais is an artist, children’s author, and educator with over 20 years teaching experience with all age groups in a variety of settings. The activities in this once-a-month column are spin-offs and combinations of ideas she has used and learned from teachers, parents, kids, books, and workshops. Only some of the activities has she actually thought of herself!
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