Where are the fish biting?

The James Boettcher family from Minnetonka, Minnesota had a great day on the water with Captain Kelly Shepard of North Shore Outdoors on Sunday, May 24.

Jon from Buck’s Hardware Hank shares this week’s fish report:

The Cabernet and Chardonnay fisherman came out this past weekend “whining” about the lack of walleyes being caught. I just chuckled to myself knowing that the first week of June is the right time for those who are partial to the bland-tasting fish. Walleyes are the eggplant of fish. It’s not so much that they have any flavor, it’s more that they soak up whatever it is you add to the thing.

When I hear fishermen talking about catching a “29 incher” or “31 incher,” I keep thinking “who needs a zucchini that big?” Of course rationalizations are the savior of “thosewho can’t.” And since all I have are rationalizations, I suppose all of you can hazard a guess as to my personal walleyecatching prowess. But if you’re really interested in catching walleyes… why would you be reading this?

I hardly ever catch the elusive buggers. Especially with my tried-and-true method for fishing walleyes:

First, go to the neighbor’s dock and be sure to bring plenty of beer or whiskey Cokes. Then, convince the neighbor that drinking beer and putting a nightcrawler on a hook aren’t mutually exclusive. After removing the hook from your thumb, attach the crawler, toss it into the water and reel it back, realizing there’s no bobber on the line. Attach the bobber, throw it back into the water and settle back for the previously mentioned beer.

Spill said beer when you see the bobber go under; spew expletives at neighbor for catching your line with his lure. Now, sit back in the lawn chair and forget about your bobber. In 15 minutes or so try to find your bobber. When you realize you actually may have a fish, reel it in and try to remove the hook from the three-inch perch, which has ingested the hook down to its venthole. Realize, after pulling the hook out along with eight inches of guts, that no one wants a threeinch perch. Look up and notice the eagle flying around and rationalize that it, too, must be hungry and toss that perch back into the lake hoping something eats it before Mary or Darin come up behind you to give you a ticket for wanton waste.

That’s how one is supposed to fish. Tried and true method, yessiree. So, good luck fishin’ everyone!