Cook County News Herald

There is no quicksand in Noonan Swamp

As I See It


A popular TV sitcom in the 1950s featured a buffoonish father-figure who was either the city engineer or the mayor (I can’t remember which) of a town engaged in a large building project akin to a major addition to the high school. At day’s end the bulldozers, dump trucks, backhoes, and other heavy machinery were parked close to Noonan Swamp. Predictably, these pieces of machinery were disappearing overnight, but the sitcom protagonist would stoutly declare, “There is no quicksand in Noonan Swamp!” It became a byword in my family for anyone who was willfully denying reality.

I’ve spoken with a couple of our county commissioners about the reality of economics in this county. One commissioner denied EVER being approached by anyone dissatisfied with the way the board was handling the county, yet most certainly attended the Truth in Taxation meetings. Another agreed that, yes, people were being forced economically out of Grand Marais by the taxes and wasn’t that a shame?

Say, whut?

The truth is that I’m confronted almost daily by someone in our workforce who is complaining about their tax load. These are the people performing the services that make a community function, but also the elderly who believed they’d sensibly planned their retirement yet are facing hardship now. Young families can’t afford to stay. As it stands, they are slowly dribbling away, and they are not being replaced by new families. Even “wealthy” home owners are cutting bait in the face of stunning tax hikes in the past three years.

As one of the speakers at the Truth in Taxation meeting pointed out, figures can be crunched any number of ways to paint a pretty picture, and that is exactly what has transpired here. Sadly for us, our own board cannot find it in their hearts to say “no” to any request for county money, nor can they ask the petitioner to trim fat and come back. The heads of budgeting committees come up with fantastic budgets and hope the county administrator will make it right because that’s his job. But it turns out he has an agenda of his own. Instead of demanding that the committees tighten up their requests, he actually added to the budget with an inappropriate raise in the county payroll.

Years ago, when the dinosaurs were young, I worked as a Wage & Salary Analyst for Bell & Howell. My group was charged with setting up a linear job ladder and determining the lowest through the highest salary range within any job grade. To do so, we had to make comparisons with other companies and what they paid. It was common sense that some of our figures came from like industries in town and also national pay scales. The point was to try and compare apples with apples, tweaking +/- where necessary to get as close a match as possible. My experience in this field really rang a gong when I looked at the counties our administrator used to come up with the radical increase in county worker payrolls.

Cook County is considered the Northwest Region of the state with a population of 5,437. The comps justifying the increase in the county payroll were completely out of line. There were none in the Northwest Region. The comps were from the Central of Northeast regions. The biggest blip was the inclusion of St. Louis County with a population of 998,216, roughly 992,775 more residents than Cook County; the smallest blip was Lake County with 10,970, a difference of 5,558 with no percentage of government acreage. In between were counties with a variance of population greater than Cook County ranging from 34,712 to 7,181. If one is doing a thesis on chipmunks, one does not factor in elephants. Ever. But that is what’s happened in this case.

There is a groundswell of concerned citizens who feel taxes are being levied based in inaccurate or misleading numbers and faulty premises. Someone must be benefitting from jacking up the county financial profile. Furthermore, in order to get accurate financial or statistical information from the county, one must file a form with Molly Hicken, our attorney, stating what information we want and why, and then the form must pass approval by the county administrator who can approve, partially approve, or deny your request altogether. It sounds more like today’s Washington, D.C. than Cook County.

The county board needs to trim fat, re-align salaries, and stop spending. The county payroll INCREASED by just under $1 MILLION from 2017 to 2018, whereas it had increased roughly $400K the year before. Clerical workers at the courthouse with only high school educations are earning close to $91,000 annually in a town of 5,000 inhabitants where the average worker is getting between $21K and $30K. PILT money is being hoarded instead of used as it was intended, namely to defray taxes. Common sense says this is out of whack. It’s pointing to Noonan Swamp.

The board is working on a policy of open communication and two-way dialogue with the public. This is great, but only if it will result in action. We’re not whining into the wind here. We, the board’s constituency, are expecting tax cuts and a return to sanity. If the Board of Commissioners is NOT getting the message for whatever reason, then I urge you to take a moment to call your commissioner and express your unhappiness. In fact, clip this out, tack it on your refrigerator, and feel free to let them know how you feel about the job they’re doing. It’s hard to ignore a one-on-one call. Meanwhile, attend all the board meetings you can.

District 1: Robert Deschampe, 370- 1181

District 2: Myron Bursheim, 370-9220

District 3: Dave Mills, 370-8950

District 4: Heidi Doo-Kirk, 387-2928

District 5: Ginnie Storlie, 370-9167

In addition, you must realize that by the time taxation policy gets down to the Truth in Taxation meeting, IT’S TOO LATE: the budget and taxes have been set. The place to start is the earliest budget meetings and the town forums. YOU must be the representative of change, or start packing your moving boxes. Of course, the final recourse is to find fiscally responsible board candidates for the next election. Start canvassing people you think might be better for representing you.

The slow wasting disease of a nice little town is everyone’s business. The real quicksand in Noonan Swamp is our workforce population sinking under the tax load.

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