I would like to propose that the Cook County News- Herald host a “cage match” between Darwinist Geri Jensen and Biblical Scholar Nelda Westerlind, with hopes to ultimately determine either the existence or non-existence of God.
The contest would be held at the 4H Log Building at the Community Center. Geri and Nelda would be confined there until one was victorious. Padded floor mats and protective gear would be provided. Local sage theologian Jake Hjorth has agreed to officiate the contest.
Date and time to be determined by the participants, although a consensus would likely be doubtful. Spectators would have the opportunity to watch via closed circuit television from the county courthouse.
Donations of either “religious” or “sacrilegious” items for a silent auction would be greatly appreciated to cover costs, as grant applications for funding were deemed frivolous.
Betting will be allowed, currently odds are running about even, although Michele Bachmann has offered to make a personal appearance in support of Nelda. The resulting victor’s opinion would be accepted as final (at least in the CCNH Letter to the Editor section) and all further religious discussion in this publication would be rendered moot.
Amen
Bob LaMettry
Grand Marais
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