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If you’ve heard the rumor, yes it’s true—I tried to hire a hit man. I offered him $100 cold hard cash…seriously I was at my wits end. Let me explain, the "hit man" was not actually a hired killer, he was an ice cream delivery man and it wasn’t a person I was trying to have "taken care of," it was a Chihuahua. You have to ask yourself, what could drive a mild-mannered cooking columnist to sink to such a low? (After all Skippy John Jones is one of my favorite books – Oochiwawa I’m a Chihuahua! It’s just fun to say.) Let me sum it up for you with one letter – P. To phrase it more clearly, as my Grandma used to say, the dog is a "piddle pot."
The day started out innocently enough with a scheduled spring carpet cleaning. As the cleaner set up his equipment, I was moving knick-knacks and tables. He then asked me to step into a darkened room where, with his carpet cleaning high technology, he showed me bright blue dots covering the entire room. (If it was luminal, we would have had a crime scene.) I was in shock. By the size of these dots it had to be the Chihuahua! Unless of course the black lab was trying to frame the little dog by leaving teaspoon size trails around the house but I don’t think the lab watches CSI. Mr. Carpet Cleaner then proceeded to tell me the cost to remove the offenses. My friend, let me tell you, I could have had a brand new flat screen TV. But what choice did I have? I decided to pay the man and fume at the dog.
The Schwan’s man just came along at the wrong time. He said he was always worried he was going to hit a dog accidentally one day on his route. Then the idea hit me like a brick. I offered him a hundred bucks to run her over with the ice cream truck. Cash on the spot no questions asked. He hesitated and laughed nervously, but I stared him dead in the eye. I even offered to tie her leash to an old tire to slow her down for him. Being the gentleman that he is, he declined my offer, handed me my fudgesicles and left, leaving me to look into the face of the offender with no options but to strangle her myself. Relax, I didn’t do it.
Of course I am of a more reasonable mind now and have decided a little (or a lot) of retraining is all she needs. Of course she will not be allowed on our fresh clean carpets ever again, but she is still a sweetheart or as Skippy John Jones would say, "Ochiwawa it’s hard to love a Chihuahua!" I have also decided I am going to focus on the sweeter things in life that start with the letter "P" like Pecan Tarts, Peach Pie and Pear Crisp. I might gain five pounds, but the little dog lives. Peace, Sandy
If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
Phil Pastoret
Correction
In the May 23 Taste of Home, an ingredient was inadvertently left out. In the recipe for Key Lime Pie, ¼ cup sugar should also be listed. Thanks to observant reader Jan Brooberg of Fergus Fall, MN for calling the error to our attention. The Cook County News-Herald apologizes for any inconvenience this may have caused.
Pecan Tarts
Ingredients:
• 1 (3 oz.) pkg. cream cheese
• 1/4 lb. butter
• 1 cup flour
• 2 eggs
• 1 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 2 tablespoons melted butter
• Pinch of salt
• Vanilla (a few drops)
• Chopped pecans
Direct ions:
Cream together butter and cheese. Mix in flour and form into 24 balls. Spread one ball of dough around the inside of each mini tart cup.
Beat two eggs slightly and add 1 1/2 cups brown sugar, two tablespoons melted butter, pinch of salt and few drops of vanilla. Put some chopped pecans in bottom of each tart cup. Fill 3/4 full of filling and put a few more pecans on top. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
Peach Pie
Ingredients:
• 1 (15 ounce) package pastry
for a 9-inch double crust pie
• 1 egg, beaten
• 5 cups sliced peeled peaches
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons butter
Direct ions:
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F (220 degrees C).
Line the bottom and sides of a 9-inch pie plate with one of the piecrusts. Brush with some of the beaten egg to keep the dough from becoming soggy later.
Place the sliced peaches in a large bowl, and sprinkle with lemon juice. Mix gently. In a separate bowl, mix together the flour, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. Pour over the peaches, and mix gently. Pour into the pie crust, and dot with butter. Cover with the other pie crust, and fold the edges under. Flute the edges to seal or press the edges with the tines of a fork dipped in egg. Brush the remaining egg over the top crust. Cut several slits in the top crust to vent steam.
Bake for 10 minutes in the preheated oven, then reduce the heat to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) and bake for an additional 30 to 35 minutes, until the crust is brown and the juice begins to bubble through the vents. If the edges brown too fast, cover them with strips of aluminum foil about halfway through baking. Cool before serving. This tastes better warm than hot.
Pear and Brown Sugar Crisp
Ingredients:
Topping
• 2/3 cup flour
• 5 tablespoons butter, softened
• 3/4 cup rolled oats (instant or
old-fashioned oatmeal)
• 1/2 cup firmly packed
dark brown sugar
• pinch salt
Pear Filling
• 6 large pears, such as Bosc or
Bartlett, cored and cut into 1-inch
long by 1/2-inch thick pieces
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/3 cup light brown
or regular sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• pinch ground cloves
• 4 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch
Direct ions:
In a food processor, combine the flour, butter, oats, dark brown sugar, and salt. Pulse until the mixture starts to hold together, then set aside.
Preheat oven to 350F. In a large bowl, mix pears, lemon juice, vanilla, light brown or regular sugar, cinnamon, cloves, and cornstarch; toss to combine.
Pour pear mixture into an 11 x 7-inch baking dish or 6 individual ramekins. Cover with topping. Turn oven down to 325F and bake the crisp until the top is golden brown and the pears are tender, 70 to 80 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature.
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