Spiritual Reflections

 

She sat there, in the chair just across the desk, staring at her feet. Her eyes were moist with tears. Her voice choked as she held back the sobs that made her shoulders shudder. Her words were simple, but desperate. “You don’t know what I’ve done. You don’t know what I’ve done.”

The third time she said it the words came with no more force than a resigned sigh. They were her Waterloo, her moment of defeat.

She had come, this young woman from another place, another life, another experience, to see if I could help. Someone in her town heard she was coming to my town and had given her my name and directions to the church. I confess, I was amazed she had come. People often don’t, people whose burdens of guilt and shame overwhelms their energy and ability to adopt yet another “Physician, heal thyself ” lecture, people too burned out on the weight of their own sins to hear any hope in spiritual platitudes that would leave them once again stuck in the same old circle of life.

I had neither lecture nor platitudes that day for this broken-hearted person. She just wanted a valid reason to get up and keep living. I had no quick fixes, no easy answers. But I did have a question for this tender soul who told me she had heard as a child of Jesus and God’s love for her. “Why is it so hard for you to believe God loves you and sent His Son to die for you because He loves you? What stands in the way of you believing what you learned?”

“You don’t know what I’ve done. You don’t know what I’ve done!” All she could do was sit there shaking her head, holding back the tears, repeating herself until her voice faded away to silence. “You don’t know . . .”

No, I didn’t know. I didn’t know then and to this day I don’t know. What I did know was more important for her than what I didn’t know.

“No, I don’t know what you’ve done, but I can see that you think whatever you’ve done makes you unlovable, even for God. Is that what you want me to understand?”

Sniffle. Nod.

“Would you mind if I shared with you what I do know, since I don’t know what you know?”

Another nod.

“I know that one time, as Jesus was teaching, some self-important men brought a woman to Jesus. They had caught this woman in the act of adultery, they caught her in bed with her married lover. They brought her straight from the bedroom to the street and threw her down in front of Jesus.

“They expected Jesus to condemn her. Not only did she have a bad reputation, she proved her reputation was true. They caught her in the middle of her sin! They expected Jesus to reject her, dismiss her, condemn her as unwanted and unlovable, call for the required death penalty. But he didn’t.

“Jesus called their bluff. He said, ‘Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.’ All those guilty, sinful people melted away until it was just the woman and Jesus left. He asked where her accusers were. She told him they left without condemning her. He spoke to her and said, ‘I don’t condemn you either. Go and sin no more.’ He didn’t let her off the hook or lie to her and tell her that her previous behavior was okay with God. He called it sin. He acknowledged she was a sinner, but he offered her forgiveness and a new life despite what she had done.

“And then, there was the thief who died on the cross next to Jesus, on the day he was crucified. He must have been a violent and perpetual thief for the Romans to condemn him to crucifixion. Others tormented and taunted and mocked Jesus, but here was this condemned criminal who said to Jesus, ‘Remember me when you come into your kingdom.

“Jesus said to him, ‘Today, you will be with me in paradise.’ No more judgment. No call for a list of sins. Just simple forgiveness in response to simple faith. And then there was a man named Saul who made it his life work to arrest and persecute innocent men, women, and children whose only crime was to believe in and trust Jesus. He even facilitated the death of some of them.

“One day Jesus appeared to Saul and changed his life. Jesus saw past all Saul had done and forgave him and set his life on an entirely new path. Jesus knew what Saul had done but loved him, nonetheless. I can assure you right now, Jesus already knows all that you’ve done, just like he knew all about all these, and he loves you, not because of who you are or what you’ve done, but because of who he is and what he will do for you when you trust him.”

Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, all sins will be forgiven the children of man, and whatever blasphemies they utter . . .” (Mark 3:28.) I know this forgiveness is real and ready for all of you who say, “You don’t know what I’ve done.” I know it is real and ready because Jesus died to pay the penalty of your sin. And I know that Jesus’ sacrifice on your behalf was acceptable to God because God raised Him from the dead. If Jesus had lied, he’d still be dead. But he is alive, and His life is proof He did not lie about God’s love.

I know this: whatever you have done, God already knows, and He is still ready with love and forgiveness to give you a new life and a new hope if you will just trust him.

Each month a member of the Cook County Ministerium will offer Spiritual Reflections. Pastor Dale McIntire has served as pastor of the Cornerstone Community Church in Grand Marais since April of 1995.