Say his name

 

I recently was asked to eulogize my father-in-law, Willard Holthaus. He died on October 1st after a long, painful illness. I loved and respected him deeply. I have been privileged to have him as my father-in-law, and I am proud to carry his name.

I was honored when Willard asked me to share his eulogy. I wish he had given me a list of what to say, just as he had a list of his favorite songs tucked away in his wallet. That list came out at every wedding for more than 20 years. Willard would show it to the DJ and then grab his wife, Mary Ellen, for a dance.

The first time I met Willard, he was sitting at the kitchen table at their home on Trout Run Road. Mary Ellen was seated to his right. She was always at his request, her favorite place to be. He said they honeymooned on the North Shore of Lake Superior in 1965. This is where I grew up. Willard joked that he thought I looked familiar. He had a dry wit. You only knew if he was joking by the twinkle in his eye.

I drove Willard’s car to Florida a few years ago to meet them on vacation. He insisted that I drive during my stay but then told me every turn and lane change. Barking orders from the passenger seat. Did you know a yellow light means GO GO GO!!! Geez, you could have made that! I laughed as he gruffed, waiting for a green light to turn.

Willard and Annie

To celebrate their 50th Anniversary, we all went to the North Shore and stayed at a house in Lutsen. There was a wedding reenactment. “The favorite line was the German man who loved his wife so much he almost told her.” That was Willard. He might not say it, but you knew he cared.

Willard was a proud supporter of Raptor Resources and enjoyed meeting and talking to the people who came from all over the world to watch the Decorah Eagles that nested in his backyard. I even made business cards at his request so he could hand them out to his “Eagle” fans.

I have read that you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time when somebody says your name for the last time,” Willard wanted to be remembered. He wanted his legacy to live on. We can do that for him now. When you see an Eagle fly, Say his name.

 

When you see his wife and daughter cry, say his name.

When you have a chance to speak to his sons, say his name.

When you hear a Johnny Cash song, say his name.

“We don’t forget, move on, and have closure; instead, we honor by remembering.

We remember by saying his name. Willard.

Hug and Peace to you, Sandy

You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly — that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp. — Anne Lamott