What if we woke up today with only those things we thanked God for yesterday? I woke up April 27, 2012 without a brother. He died in his sleep. Gary was just 47 years old. The sheriff came to my house three times to tell me but thankfully I was protected by God for an entire day from receiving this news alone. I am weak when it comes to death. I fall apart. I was running errands all day oblivious to the sadness that awaited me that evening at 8:00 By then my children and husband were home. We consoled each other through the shock.
They say you remember your childhood better if you have a sibling close in age because you see your life and build memories through them. I was just 10 months old when Gary was born. I am sure he is the reason I remember so much.
He was blonde and I was dark. He was tall and I was short. (Maybe that’s why I sometimes think I am a tall blonde….).
He came into the world in a rush, delivered by my Grandma Isabelle in the car in her driveway on the way to the hospital. I keep remembering that he was a fat baby, but he wasn’t…he just had a cute double chin.
Sandy Holthaus and her brother, Gary Anderson, at their high school graduation. Gary died unexpectedly on April 26, 2012.
From the time we could both speak, we argued. It drove my mother crazy. If I said the sky was blue he would say it was aqua….and vice versa. I constantly corrected him as the worldly and knowledgeable “older” sister. We shared a room and even a bed for some time when we were little. We’d help Mom haul the water and Dad chop wood. We were a team.
At Birch Grove Elementary they put us in the same class and the same grade because I was born in October and had to wait a year and he was born August 31, so he just made the September 1st cut off. This was not a good thing for Gary.
I know I owe him a mountain of apologies for being so competitive. We were compared every day as if we were twins but he was almost a year younger. It was never fair. School was a sore subject but I remember we had many good times too.
We swam at Temperance River, went camping on weekends and built tree houses and forts every summer. In high school we sometimes worked together, one winter at Satellite’s Country Inn. He cooked and I waitressed. He drove us to work in an old classic truck. When the windows were frosted over I would hang out the passenger side going down Highway 61 and direct him to stay on the road.
Just days after graduation he left for trade school and I moved to the Grand Marais campground. We were busy starting our lives. He married and had three children before I even found a career. My nephews and niece were such a joy to me. I could get my “baby fix” and not worry about having my own until years later. He married a second time and his youngest son is very close in age to my boys.
I liked to tease Gary that he had excellent taste in wives, as my ex-sisters in-law are two of the most beautiful women you would ever want to meet.
Gary and I grew apart these last couple of years. We would visit only at holidays. He was busy with his life and I with mine. The last time we were together was 11 months ago when we celebrated our parent’s 50th wedding anniversary in Schroeder. He looked handsome. I don’t remember if I told him that.
I should have told him….and I should have thanked God that I had a brother…yesterday.
Taste of Home columnist Sandy (Anderson) Holthaus lives on a farm in South Haven, MN with her husband, Michael, and their children Zoe, Jack and Ben. Her heart remains on the North Shore where she grew up with her parents, Art and LaVonne Anderson of Schroeder. She enjoys writing about her childhood and mixes memories with delicious helpings of home-style recipes.
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