Every day of my life I look for presents from Heaven. They are a daily reminder to me of God’s loving presence in my life. This last week was no exception. As many of you know my brother Gary died unexpectedly last April. Our family was rocked by his sudden loss.
We knew so little of the last several months of his life and the few belongings that were returned to us didn’t leave us much to go on. As I went through his small box of old letters and cards I realized two things—One: These cards and letters we sent must have meant something to him if he kept them through years of moving and storage. Two: He knew we loved him and cared about him.
That was a huge gift to me. These thoughts alone gave me a sense of peace at the time but I was still plagued by a shadow of doubt. I never knew if he was OK or happy at the end of his life and he never got the chance to tell us.
Last week I went Christmas shopping but my heart wasn’t really into it. I had this crushing feeling of helplessness and sadness in my chest. I couldn’t get Gary out of my mind. I was worried about the holidays and how my parents would deal with this huge gaping hole left by Gary’s death.
I thought about all the Christmases we shared as kids. He and I would sneak peeks of our presents under the tree while Mom and Dad were at bowling league. We’d visit my Grandma Isabelle and Gary and my cousin Steven would get into all kinds of mischief. I remember one Christmas when they had a cassette recorder and they hid the microphone to spy on the Aunties’ private conversations! It was a big to-do! One year we both got stereos for Christmas with cassette players and everything. These were good memories.
Even as adults we would spend Christmas together. Our kids would play and we would all eat. Gary liked to cook. The last Christmas he was here in 2010 he and my husband Mike made prime rib. I have pictures of them proudly displaying this huge piece of beef. Even though he didn’t make it home last Christmas, he called and we knew he was OK. No messages were expected to come from Gary this year and I was sad.
That very same night I opened my Facebook mail and there was a note from a man who lives in Billings, Montana. His stepdad had been buying gas when he looked down and right there on the ground in front of him was Gary’s class ring. It came from out of nowhere as if it had fallen from Heaven.
By a miracle they googled Cook County High School and found my name as his sister, then they found me on Facebook. I received the ring in the mail yesterday.
I can’t begin to tell you how much having this ring means to me. Just knowing Gary wore it at one time and maybe gave it to a high school sweetheart is a comforting thought. I don’t know where it has been for the last 30 years and why it suddenly showed up on one of the worst days of my life will always be a mystery, but I like to think of it as a present sent from Heaven, proof of God’s presence.
Thank you Gary, message received.
Peace to you and to your family this Christmas.
A joy shared becomes twice the
joy and a grief shared becomes
half the grief.
Swedish Proverb
Taste of Home columnist Sandy (Anderson) Holthaus lives on a farm in South Haven, MN with her husband, Michael, and their children Zoe, Jack and Ben. Her heart remains on the North Shore where she grew up with her parents, Art and LaVonne Anderson of Schroeder. She enjoys writing about her childhood and mixes memories with delicious helpings of home-style recipes.
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