Cook County News Herald

Old Friends



 

 

Can you imagine us
Years from today
Sharing a park bench
quietly?
How terribly strange
To be seventy.

~The Beatles

Well, I’m there—and beyond.

We didn’t share a park bench, but I recently shared a few days with some precious life-long friends, all of us over 70. We don’t call each other OLD friends, though, at least not yet. In 1982 we decided to escape into the woods on a canoe trip, and we had such a fabulous time that we continued canoeing together for 25 summers. I remember back in our thirties laughing about one day being airlifted into a wilderness island with our walkers. We’re getting close, with new knees, shoulders, and spinal fusions.

I loved every single one of our trips—well, nearly. We had difficulties at times, ranging from deluging rain to hurt feelings, but we weathered them as gracefully as we could. We seven stalwarts still get together every few years, though we opt for cozy beds and warm showers rather than sleeping bags and frigid skinny dips (and bugs!).

 

 

After a long pandemic induced hiatus, we arranged a gathering in a charming mid-century home on Park Point. Our hopes of biking along the lake walk were dashed by the cold weather, but no matter. We made do. Some of us admitted to being apprehensive about rubbing elbows so closely after all these years, but we got along beautifully. In fact, our time together was magical. All our eccentricities, worries, and insecurities melted away as we dove into days of non-stop conversation, sometimes laughing till we cried—just as we did on those canoe trips. We took walks, played games, and even ventured out for dinner, but nothing beat hanging out together.

It reminded me how important it is to connect with the people we’ve cared about in our lives. I’m embarrassed to say I don’t do it enough. Not only is reconnecting fun, but it’s good for us. “Social connections not only give us pleasure, but they also influence our long-term health in ways every bit as powerful as adequate sleep, a good diet, and not smoking. Dozens of studies have shown that people who have satisfying relationships with family, friends, and their community are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer.” ~Harvard Health Publishing, 2011.

With age comes wisdom, and hopefully time to build on treasured friendships. My aversion to the phone keeps me from reaching out enough, yet when I do, it inevitably warms my heart.

Last weekend I sat with a dear friend and former student at the George Morrison Celebration dinner, and the five years we’ve been apart dissipated in an instant. Next month I look forward to a few days with childhood friends. We reconnected at a Sherwood Forest reunion about 15 years ago and have gathered every few years since. I love it.

If I have any advice to impart, I encourage you to reconnect with just one old friend today. Or maybe tomorrow?

Chris Stapleton summed it up beautifully in his song, “Old Friends”:

Old friends, they shine
like diamonds
Old friends, you can
always call
Old friends, Lord, you
can’t buy ‘em
You know it’s old
friends, after all.

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