Cook County News Herald

My obnoxious cousin






 

 

I have to make a correction. I almost could get away with not talking about my mistake, if it weren’t for the fact that I have a huge extended family. In Unorganized Territory last week, I got the names of my twin cousins confused. Since they live in Seattle, most readers wouldn’t know about my mistake. However, I’ve already had four relatives point out the error. I’m sure there will be more. Besides, I want to apologize to the twins, as they do get the News-Herald in Seattle.

It’s a mistake I make frequently, even though twins Rick and Joel are quite different. They look somewhat alike, but their personalities are quite different. Rick is sweet and studious, a dedicated instructor at Everest College in Everett, Washington. Joel is outgoing and mischievous, a charming businessman in the communications industry.

I really do know the difference between them, but all their lives—31 years now—I, and many other family members, have referred to them in the plural. “Rick and Joel…” So, when I wrote last week’s column, I just followed the usual pattern and started out with Rick’s name, when Joel was actually the happy groom in the recent wedding I attended. It’s not something our dedicated office proofreaders could have caught, as they don’t know my Seattle relatives.

So, I’m starting this column with heartfelt apologies to the twins. And of course to Joel’s lovely bride, Terry. Congratulations to the newlyweds!

This does, however, give me the perfect lead-in to pick on Rick and Joel’s sister, Lori. She is their baby sister and she is a bit of a brat. Readers may think I will have to write another column next week, apologizing to Lori for that, but I won’t. If she is reading this, she is probably giggling and nodding her pretty blond head.

She actually isn’t a brat. She is a kind and caring young lady who works with children and families. She’s a strong and self-sufficient woman who surrounds herself with a façade of silliness. She’s a lot of fun—and a bit of a brat.

One of the reasons I say that is because at Joel and Terry’s wedding and throughout the days we spent with her, I was trying really hard to get a nice photo of Miss Lori. But she would not cooperate. She crossed her eyes, scrunched up her mouth, and ducked and dived away from the camera. I got an especially appealing shot of her after she had eaten a piece of blue candy—she stuck out her tongue showing off her bright blue tongue—perfectly matching her blue eyes and blue sweatshirt.

My husband, Chuck, the subject of more columns than can be counted, warned her. “You better be careful, you’ll end up in the News-Herald!”

I agreed. I cautioned her that I would write about her and title it My obnoxious cousin. I didn’t know how I would do it though. How could I work the tale of the silly girl sticking out her tongue into a column? I had no idea—until my twins’ name faux pas.

So, again dear Rick and Joel, my apologies. And to Terry, deepest apologies and welcome to this crazy family. And to Lori…gotcha!

Give me a fruitful error
anytime, full of seeds, bursting
with its own corrections.

Vilfredo Pareto


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