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The big day is approaching. No time to waste. Preparations must be made. Fortunes will rise and fall in one 24-hour period. Will you be ready?
No, I am not talking about the Superbowl. I am talking about the day after the Superbowl, a smaller, little day known as Valentine’s.
This year, just to make a few bucks more on the backs of others, the NFL upped the number of regular season games from 16 to 17. Like a line of scrimmage on the move, everything got pushed and now Valentine’s Day is fighting for its life.
Valentine’s Day has never been encroached upon before like this. Sure, it’s been ignored, slighted, neglected. Yes, the Day takes a lot of flak. Fine, many of the complaints are from me personally. But V. Day was always big enough to take the punches. You never hear, Well, honey, I was going to do something really special for you, but I wanted to save it for President’s Day.
This year is different. This year Valentine’s Day bumps up against football. And not just any football. The football of all footballs.
This has many, many implications but the most important is that whole Lover versus Fighter thing may finally be decided.
On the Day after the Big Day, as Valentine’s Day will no doubt be known this year, romantic counterparts will be hungover. Many of them will have lost money on the game. A very significant portion will have NO IDEA it is Valentine’s Day until they see it on ESPN the morning of. The vast majority will have no plan, no reservation, and no gift. And did I mention they’re probably hung over? Not just from booze. Ever wake up after eating something called “Trash Can Nachos”? This group will reap what they sow.
Fortune and love favor the brave. – Ovid
For the suitors out there, This is your chance! If you do this right, you can swoop in and win a neglected heart. Now, you will probably get beat up eventually. That’s why someone said, “Love hurts”. Of course, they meant it figuratively. For you it will literally hurt. But what a small price for a heart.
Where there is love there is life. – Mahatma Gandhi
I have seen television commercials, so I feel like I’ve got a good handle on love. For some Love is buying that special someone really expensive perfume. It tells that special someone that they could smell better. A lot better. You know, different. For others Love is buying that special someone really expensive jewelry. Luckily, you can pick some up at the mall. And finally, for a few Love is buying that special someone a really expensive car. Please don’t forget a really big bow on top. (I’m not sure where to pick one up. Amazon? Michael’s?)
All you need is love – The Beatles
Of course, love isn’t just buying something really expensive. The important thing is that you’re buying something. Maybe chocolates. Or flowers. But do not make the mistake of buying that special someone – even if they really, really need one – a new vacuum cleaner for Valentine’s Day. Boy, that is not a mistake I will make twice.
“There is always some madness in love.” Friedrich Nietzsche
Some feel more comfortable expressing themselves with the written word. That’s why Man created skywriting! The thing is, with skywriting, you have to be something I am not – pithy, concise, succinct. Shoot for incisive, abridged, snappy. You don’t want a message painted across the blue sky like, “Gina, it’s Peter in IT. I’m the guy with the anime posters in my cubicle. Anyway, I was wondering…” No, in skywriting you must cut to the chase. “G, Marry me? P”
The course of true love never did run smooth – William Shakespeare
Look, I’m not saying this is going to be easy. But at least for Superbowl/ Valentine’s Day, there will be an opening. Your rival prepped for Valentine’s Day by consuming six kinds of dip (guacamole/queso/ bean/7-layer/jalapeno/mystery?) five varieties of chips, four types of chicken wings, three styles pizza, two versions of French fry, and a single carrot stick (eaten by mistake). All of which will have been dipped in a quantity of Ranch dressing previously available only to wholesalers. Your rival’s 14th of February is not looking good. I wouldn’t overpromise for their 15th either.
Love is the bridge between you and everything. – Rumi
Are you gonna leave it all out there? If so, you’re gonna need a ring. The bigger the better. (Remember, love is really expensive and on sale now at the mall.) Now they may be “surprised” because they don’t know your name. But your window is now, and love is blind. This is how you win a heart and/or a restraining order. But…
Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. – Alfred Lord Tennyson
Of course, you might just want to watch football. The postseason has been pretty exciting so far. And the commercials are fun.
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