Influence

 

I have long held that we all come into this world as a malleable lump of clay and whoever has their hands on us will shape the vessel.

Whether we are willing to admit it or not, on a daily basis, each of us are being “molded” by family, friends, teachers, clergy, various media, advertisers, sport figures and entertainment. A number of these influencers or shapers of our thinking often exhibit a bold forcefulness while others may be defined as “hidden persuaders”; a label coined by former American journalist and social critic Vance Packard (1914-1996). Packard first exposed the hidden world of “motivation research” – the psychological technique that advertisers use to probe our minds in order to control our actions – in his best-selling book The Hidden Persuaders, first published in 1957 and republished just a year ago to celebrate its 50th anniversary. I remember reading, with interest, Packard’s book in the early eighties.

You will often hear people refer to those who have influenced or shaped their lives in one way or the other…in some cases not for the better.

When we are young, turning back to the analogy of “shaping the vessel,” the clay is very impressionable— and there are those who seek to use this to their advantage. Acceptance, belonging and fitting in are all paramount to a child; therefore, those who endeavor to shape the “vessel” in their own image seek to exploit this.

A child can be nurtured in a loving home and sent off into the world and by the time they return home at the end of the day the parents recognize there have been imprints inconsistent with the family’s values and they must set about reshaping the vessel …aware that each day the child grows older, the clay is hardening.

For anyone who reads history, we know the exploitation of our youth for personal and political gain is certainly nothing new. As French sociologist and historian Alexis de Tocqueville put it, “History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies.”

Consider Social Psychology, which includes a large domain of knowledge around “social influence,” that provides a powerful basis through which to persuade others.

Here’s a concise description of social influence as represented by ChangingMinds.org, the world’s largest site addressing all aspects of how we change what others think, believe, feel and do:

“Social influence is the change in behavior that one person causes in another, intentionally or unintentionally, as a result of the way the changed person perceives themselves in relationship to the influencer, other people and society in general.

“Three areas of social influence are conformity, compliance and obedience.

“Conformity is changing how you behave to be more like others. This plays to belonging and esteem needs as we seek the approval and friendship of others. Conformity can run very deep, as we will even change our beliefs and values to be like those of our peers and admired superiors.

“Compliance is where a person does something that they are asked to do by another. They may choose to comply or not to comply, although the thoughts of social reward and punishment may lead them to compliance when they really do not want to comply.

“Obedience is different from compliance in that it is obeying an order from someone that you accept as an authority figure. In compliance, you have some choice. In obedience, you believe that you do not have a choice.”

Herbert C. Kelman, the Richard Clarke Cabot Professor of Social Ethics, Emeritus, at Harvard University and one of the first to distinguish himself worldwide in understanding the inner workings of a person’s psyche, focused largely on this process of opinion change.

And then there is Associate Professor of Psychology and author Jeffrey M. Jackson, who has published and taught over 30 scholarly publications and presentations in the areas of group dynamics, social processes and research methods. Jackson published a book in 1987 titled, Social Impact Theory: A Social Forces Model of Influence.

In Chapter 6 of Jackson’s scholarly work, he cites, “A recent theory of social impact (Latané, 1981; Latané & Nida, 1980) has been shown to be increasingly important in the fields of interpersonal influence and group behavior. Social impact is defined as: ‘any of the great variety of changes in physiological states and subjective feelings, motives and emotions, cognitions and beliefs, values and behavior, that occur in an individual, human, or animal, as a result of the real, implied or imagined presence or actions of other individuals. (Latané, 1981, p. 343)

“This theory describes social impact in terms of social force fields that impinge upon us, pushing us to think or behave in a particular way.”

There is no question social influence can shape an individual’s attitudes, beliefs and actions. And there are those who deliberately seek to use this to their advantage without regard for what you envision for your child’s well-being.

So who is going to shape your child? How are you, as a parent, going to respond to the social influence that enables a powerful basis through which to shape your child?

Converted Christian antagonist Paul (formerly Saul) recorded in the New Testament book of Romans, “Does the potter not have power over the clay to make from the same lump one vessel for honor and another for dishonor?”

Three chapters later in the book of Romans, Paul counsels, “With eyes wide open…Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mould, but let God re-mould your minds from within, so that you may prove in practice that the plan of God for you is good, meets all his demands and moves towards the goal of true maturity.”

Former Cook County Commissioner Garry Gamble is writing this ongoing column about the various ways government works.