Many of us who suffer with stress, undiagnosed depression or anxiety reach for something to calm our nerves or relieve them of emotional pain. In other words, we self-medicate.
Rather than seek out some help in managing their fears, worries, depression, or anxiety we seek our own solution. Some solutions make for great short-and long-term coping strategies like the feeling one person gets from a “runners high.” A friend recently told me “Running is my therapy.” I’ve even heard, “Running is my drug.” Yoga is my strategy for keeping my mind clear and my body healthy to endure the stress that life brings on. But I don’t always feel so motivated to do yoga and it’s chocolate that becomes my medication and I’m not great about moderation.
While we have healthy ways of medicating and know all too well what they are—exercise, sleep, healthy relationships, and nutritious foods, the brain-calming, body-soothing coping strategies of shopping, eating, sexual activity, texting, video games, drugs, alcohol, caffeine, and even sugar, which, while they work pretty well for a while, eventually can complicate issues and lead to more pain. The cycle of self-medicating with drugs, alcohol or addictive behaviors gains traction for some, that can even lead to addiction.
How the self-medicating cycle begins.
There is something that is bothering us, a down mood we can’t shake, a social or personal anxiety that keeps us anxious or a depressed/angry feeling we don’t know how to manage.
We discover that one to three drinks, a pint of chocolate ice cream, maybe a cigarette or even playing games on our iPhone really takes the edge off. We feel lighter, less self-conscious, more confident and able to cope.
The more we use these “solutions” the less we learn to cope on our own. We become dependent on a substance or activity to manage our inner world and less able to manage it on our own.
Our dependency nags at the corners of our mind. We’re not ready to admit to it, so we develop little ways of hiding it, first from ourselves and then, of course, from others. The more silently anxious we become, the greater our need for our drink or drug (or behavior, sex or money addiction, for example) to cope. We leave social engagements or appointments early to get “a fix” to calm us down.
Our dependency deepens, our anxiety about our dependency deepens, our wish to hide it deepens. The further we are away from self-honesty, the less likely we are to admit we have a problem.
So how do we stop? Well, this depends on how far down the cycle we have gone. First we have to recognize it as a dependency. Second you have to want to stop it or quit it. If you find that you can’t do this on your own it’s okay to ask for help. Contact a medical or mental health professional or your clergy. You don’t have to do this alone. You are worth it.
Each month a local mental health therapist will discuss an area of mental health. This week’s contributor is Sherri Moe, MS Psychotherapist.
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