A kitten for Christmas? Your birthday? What better gift could you get?
Probably none, but training kittens takes love. Takes patience. Takes energy and time. But if you have the energy, time, love and patience, you can train your cat.
All my life I have had cats. Also dogs, but there have been times when I haven’t had a dog around. But always, there have been cats.
With that, I have learned how to train these furry felines. My method is 100 percent successful, and I am willing to share it with you.
When I get a wee kitten, all fuzzy and fluffy, full of squeaky, high pitched plaintive, sometimes pitiful little meows and raspy, rumbling purrs, I hold the kitten close to my chest and talk in high pitched squeaky, somewhat plaintive, pitiful meows right back to it. I’m not sure the kitten understands what I am saying. I know I sure don’t know what I am saying in kitten talk, but I think it soothes the kitten. If not the kitten, the gentle conversation soothes me.
As for purring, I don’t purr. Sadly, I never learned how.
Once you and your kitten have become best friends, which takes a minute or two, it’s time to start the work.
First I assemble various blocks of small wood, each an inch or two high. They should be flat and stackable and smooth as a baby’s bottom, so your kitten doesn’t get any slivers.
Next, I find some wool or soft fabric.
Finally, to begin the training, you need to acquire snacks, incentives if you must, to help encourage your kitten through the steps it takes to complete the six to 10 weeks of instruction.
Topping the list of kitten cuisine is Pule cheese, or even a wheel of Parmigianino cheese will do, but just small bits. That and smoked salmon or wee bits of Japanese Wagyu Tenderloin, also cooked perfectly and served in teeny pieces should do the trick.
Now that you have the snacks prepared begin the lessons. Start with a small block of wood one inch high. Can your kitten easily climb it? If so, go straight to the two-inch block of wood.
If your kitten can’t quite scale that height, put a snack on top and watch as it valiantly struggles to reach the food. Once on top, encourage your kitten to jump down.
You don’t want to end up with a cat that ends up, say, on top of the neighbor’s roof and can’t climb down. I had a cat I had to rescue from a neighbor’s roof once, and I ended up stuck on the roof once I handed the cat to a neighbor over an eve to an unseen 24-foot-tall ladder I climbed. I’ve been madder, but I don’t know when.
Once your kitten starts to learn to climb the blocks of wood, build the towers higher and higher, snacks always at the top. Don’t spend more than three or fours hours a day at this because you don’t want to overwork your kitten. Or you.
In between the climbing sessions, which are geared to strengthening the kitten’s three hamstring muscles (the semitendinosus (ST), semimembranosus anterior (SMa), and semimembranosus posterior (SMp)), and the clawing sessions on the piece of fabric you have picked out, you are building a super cat.
To encourage your cat to develop its front legs and claws, pet the kitten as it engages in the clawing activity. Petting and telling the kitten what a good job it is doing speeds the progress up considerably.
At the end of six to 10 weeks, you will find that your now young cat has abilities far beyond those of the cats who haven’t benefited from exclusive training and diet.
While other cats of the same age can only jump to a chair, your cat will be able to leap straight onto the kitchen table or to an even higher countertop.
And while other cats have trouble climbing curtains, your cat will amaze your neighbors and friends with its ability to sprint up a curtain, back down and up again and not even be out of breath.
Hope this helps. This training has never failed for any of my very well conditioned cats. But if you are getting a kitten this spring, start saving up for the snacks. They are kind of spendy.
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