I try not to get into discussions on social media. I’ve learned, after a time or two of making what I felt was a benign comment, that the online reader often interprets comments in an entirely different way than intended. So when I see a heated conversation on Facebook or a dispute in blog posts, most of the time I scroll on by.
An example of a time when I should have stayed silent was when an acquaintance commented that active duty military or veterans must get angry when people get confused over the meaning of Memorial Day. This fellow stated that it must be frustrating for these military folks to be thanked on Memorial Day, when it is a day intended to honor those who have fallen.
I couldn’t resist commenting. I quickly wrote a reply stating that the military folks that I know don’t mind. I wrote that after the way some service people were treated in the 1960s, a kind thank you is appreciated in whatever form it takes.
I was shocked at the angry discourse that followed. People I did not know accused me of being disrespectful to the men and women who had lost their lives. I was called ignorant and uncaring. I was accused of being a peacenik—which I don’t consider an insult, but the writer thought it was.
I tried to defend my statement, explaining that the people I knew over my 20-plus years as an Army spouse—or as I liked to describe myself, as a camp follower—wouldn’t mind a thank you. The soldiers that worked with my husband Chuck and the military family members that became dear friends all celebrated days of honor—Flag Day, June 14; Armed Forces Day on the third Saturday of May; the 4th of July; Memorial Day and Veterans Day—with the same thoughts.
We honored all of these meaningful days in the same way. We prayed for the safety of the men and women currently in harm’s way. We said thank you—and celebrated— all those currently serving. And of course, we remembered the men and women who had served in the past and those who had made the ultimate sacrifice.
The Internet conversation continued to deteriorate and became extremely unpleasant so I did what I should have done from the beginning, I left the discussion.
However, this week as we approach Memorial Day, I am reminded of the exchange. As I see the flags fluttering on the graves of veterans at our community cemeteries and as I enjoy the line of flags at Harbor Park placed by the American Legion, I do remember those we have lost in wars and conflicts.
The sacrifice of these brave young men and women—now forever young—will never be forgotten. My heart goes out to the friends and family left behind.
But I still think it is appropriate to say a thank you to the people currently serving and to those who served. When I say thank you for your service to a member of our military, it doesn’t just mean thank you for getting through boot camp and for learning your job—whether it is as an engineer, a driver, a cook, quartermaster or sniper. It isn’t just for learning how to shoot a rifle or run five miles.
While the separation from families, hard work and stress constantly faced by our military is appreciated, when I say thank you on Memorial Day it is in remembrance of the horrors these men and women have seen. At the News-Herald, I have had the honor of interviewing dozens of servicemen and women and I am always touched by their humility and their insistence that the true heroes are the ones who did not make it home.
The members of our armed services know more than anyone the pain of losing someone to war.
So thank you, to all our military men and women for bravely carrying on, for reminding us of the great loss we mourn on Memorial Day. Peace to all who have been touched by war.
With the tears a land hath
shed, their graves should
ever be green.
Thomas Bailey Aldrich
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