Who knows what this year will hold? Will the stock market continue to fluctuate? Will our country continue to be so divided? Will my friend who is sick get better or worse? Will my grandson’s autism be helpfully treated?
No shortage of unknowns—that’s for sure. Most of us never thought we’d see a time when children were taken from their parents and caged along our borders. We didn’t expect to get to 2019 and find our country slipping in strength and status around the world.
Our disorientation which comes from finding ourselves living in a world we hadn’t planned on–makes us crave certainty. We may find this by listening to voices expressing opinions like our own.
I work with a number of groups who have high school and college age kids. I’m amazed at how many of their children suffer from stress and anxiety. Perhaps it’s because they/we have had the impression that we can control things when we can’t.
As life happens, the reality hits—I’m not in control, and the rest of my life I will not be in control. Looking ahead at decades of this, I can understand the anxiety these kids are experiencing. They thought that if they did things right and got good grades, their lives would be smooth.
And at a more personal level, as I age, I realize that I can’t take my friends’ health and longevity for granted. I can’t take my health and longevity for granted.
We like to think we can control these things. If I eat organic and exercise lots and breathe clean air—then I will almost certainly live to be at least 98.
When I was younger I made elaborate plans and resolutions for each new year—lose weight, do yoga, etc.
But one of the “gifts” about getting older is the realization that I’m not in control. I probably could lose weight and do yoga (both of which would do me good), but ultimately, much of what is most important is beyond my resolution and planning.
I remember saying to my spiritual director (about 20 years ago), “I find uncertainty so difficult. It makes me feel so anxious.”
“What are you worried about?” she asked.
“Oh, everything. That something will happen to my kids. Or that I have cancer. Or that nuclear war will break out.”
“All true,” she said. “Any of those could happen.”
“Thanks,” I groaned.
“Those are things you can’t know: no one can. You need to concentrate on what you do know.”
“What do I know?” I asked.
“That you are strong, and that God is good.”
My initial response was to think, “Well, that’s not much.”
But it’s a lot. In fact it’s all I need to know.
Julian of Norwich’s great line echoes this. During plague-time in medieval England, she wrote: “All shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.” If we allow ourselves to take the biggest of all big pictures, life happens, but God is good and present.
So, here’s the good news for 2019. No, it’s not “all good.” Contrary to those who preach a prosperity gospel—that if we’re good God will bless us and keep us safe—we are given no guarantees.
All we can truly know is that God is good and that God is present. Therefore in 2019, “all shall be well.”
Each month a member of the Cook County Ministerium will offer Spiritual Reflections. This month’s contributor is Mary Ellen Ashcroft, Vicar of Spirit of the Wilderness Episcopal Church.
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