My Great Uncle Duane died on August 24. I stopped saying “passed away” two years ago when my brother died. It might seem harsh, but I find it more truthful. After all we all will die at some point so why sugar coat it?
I am not sure what “passed away” really means anyway. What did they pass?
Many people sent me their sympathies at Uncle Duane’s death but to be honest it wasn’t all sadness… he lived a wonderful, celebrated life as a teacher in Fridley for 33 years. He taught his last English class in 1992 and yet many of his students and former colleagues came to his funeral and wrote beautiful tributes. He touched so many lives up until the very day he died…now is that something to be sad about?
Because he was diagnosed with terminal cancer several months ago he was given the gift of time to plan his final goodbyes. He chose who would speak, who would sing…he even told them what he wanted them to sing. As a former speech and theater coach you might say he “directed” his own funeral. It was the most beautiful service, both touching and entertaining. A wonderful tribute with the flair of a Broadway musical. The evening ended with a cocktail party, an open bar and an open mike. Many stepped forward to share the humorous words of wisdom Duane liked to dish out on a regular basis.
“Gum. Is. Sin” was a favorite. He never wanted the kids to chew it in class. Some might jump to the conclusion that this was because he found gum disgusting but the minister explained that it really was because Duane believed that gum held a person back from really participating fully in class. Gum was used as a type of distraction. He never allowed it, ever.
He also said daily that “Teachers. Are. Love.” I think he wanted his students to feel the love he had for them and make sure that they knew it was OK to love a teacher too. Reading the Star Tribune obituary tribute comments written by former students, there is no doubt he was loved as a teacher.
My memories of Uncle Duane are all humorous. He and my Aunt Edna, “his bride,” as he always referred to her would host amazing dinner parties. He liked to cook and he loved to eat! Whenever I visited them I would take a Black-Bottom Pecan Pie. He would make a huge deal and compliment me by having a second and sometimes a third piece!
More than one person said, “He made you feel like you were the only person in the room.” I was amazed because that is exactly right. Please do not think I didn’t cry the day we had to say our final goodbyes, I did, but only because I was wishing we could have had his funeral one day before he died. I am sure he would have loved the party!
Remember, you can marry more money in five minutes than you can make in a lifetime!
Duane R. Georgius
Taste of Home columnist Sandy (Anderson) Holthaus lives on a farm in South Haven, MN with her husband, Michael, and their children Zoe, Jack and Ben. Her heart remains on the North Shore where she grew up with her parents, Art and LaVonne Anderson of Schroeder. She enjoys writing about her childhood and mixes memories with delicious helpings of home-style recipes.
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