Last year I wrote a column titled Gum is Sin about my Great Uncle Duane. He was married to my grandma’s sister Edna. Edna and Duane had an admirable ying and yang marriage.
They worked together, she a librarian and he was a teacher. Duane was outgoing, boisterous and theatrical. Edna was friendly and warm yet had a quieter presence than her husband. They were married in 1958. From day one he referred to Edna as his “bride.” With no children, they tended to dote on their nieces and nephews. Duane said they were the perfect kids because you could spoil them rotten, send them home and have a cocktail by evening. No loss of sleep.
I loved visiting them at their cabin in Ely. Duane liked to garden and fish. Aunt Edna was an award-winning quilter. She had fabric in every color and shade…it was like a cotton candy store. Like me, they were both readers and always had terrific recommendations for new books to explore. Edna and Duane love to cook and host dinner parties. When invited, I would bring a black bottom pecan pie. It was his favorite.
You knew that you were in for an evening of fun entertainment at their home. They served several courses of appetizers, food, wine and after dinner drinks. Duane would toast to his “bride” the love of his life. He died of cancer just one day after their 56th anniversary. He didn’t want to leave his
“bride” alone on that special day.
This summer we all gathered for a family reunion. It was decided at Duane’s “celebration of life funeral” that we should all get together more often. It was an amazing two days. My cousin has built an outdoor dome oven and we made at least 30 different kinds of pizza. Edna said Duane would have loved seeing everyone together. I gave her a copy of my book and she was thrilled to see some of her mother’s favorite recipes in the book. (Her mom would be my Great Grandma Moulton.) I brought Great Grandma’s sugar cookies to the reunion.
This week my Aunt Edna died after a terrible fall. She was in a coma for several days and unable to speak. Her sister brought a copy of my book to the hospital and read it to her. She said it might have been her imagination, but Edna seemed to relax and breathe easier as she listened. My heart was filled with joy when I heard that story…I just had to share it with you.
I am given a special peace to know that my Uncle Duane now has his “bride” with him for all eternity.
How powerful is the presence of her absence.
Fred Chappell
Taste of Home columnist Sandy (Anderson) Holthaus lives on a farm in South Haven, MN with her husband, Michael, and their children Zoe, Jack and Ben. Her heart remains on the North Shore where she grew up with her parents, Art and LaVonne Anderson of Schroeder. She enjoys writing about her childhood and mixes memories with delicious helpings of home-style recipes.
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