We came to the appointment with the radiation oncologist fending off worry but full of questions nonetheless. What would be the course of treatment? How many weeks would it last? Where would it need to be done? How extensive would be the damage from radiation? Where were we going to stay? How were we going to handle driving back and forth to Duluth every day? Could we get someone to stay with Linda somewhere, to help her get around so I could stay home and get the work done I need to do too? Would Linda have to travel out of state to stay with her sister for six weeks while I stayed home? How would it feel being so physically distant when she needed me the most?
Questions, questions, questions. And for weeks, all we had was questions. No answers. Options, yes. Answers, no. How do you keep worry and anxiety at bay when all you have are questions and options with no concrete answers or plans?
Well, we are finding out that the answer really is faith. The Bible tells us, in James chapter one, to “count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds for you know the testing of your faith produces patience” (James 1:2-3.)
Really? Assign joy as the overarching emotional response when life seems out of control or falling apart? Joy? Really? How are we supposed to do that?
James tells us the key to endurance is faith under fire. Life tests what we believe to be ultimately true about ourselves and the universe we live in. Faith provides the framework for confronting and resolving the disparities and disappointments of life.
Here’s what I mean. We sat down with the radiation doctor. We knew two things. First, we knew (and we still know) that God loves us and that His every inclination toward us complies with His divine character, therefore His intent and actions in our lives would be both loving and good regardless of our perception of them.
We also knew that the doctor would know more about radiation treatment for Linda’s specific cancer than we did, so, he would have some answers. We didn’t know what the answers were, but we knew God was taking care of us and the doctor would have some specific answers. Faith grabs hold of knowledge and reaches beyond what we perceive to what is absolutely true. We entered that consultation faith in place and ready for answers.
The doctor described a treatment plan that would not take six weeks, or four weeks (like last time), but only five days with radiation twice per day. One week. There were several criteria for this specific treatment. Linda meets every criterion. And during that meeting, the doctor handed us the name of someone who would handle our lodging making it possible for me to be with her throughout the week without having to drive back and forth every day.
Everything we were trying to not worry about (but were having trouble not worrying about) resolved into concrete answers and plans. Now how does that fit with “count it all joy”?
In my mind it works like this: God already knew the answers and plans that He had in mind for our good, even though we didn’t know any of the details. Faith trusts God with the details and He proved trustworthy. Therefore, since we know we are loved, and since God demonstrates His goodness, faith in Him perceives that these “trials” are really just opportunities to experience how loving, gracious, and good God truly is. We can “count it all joy” because we know that this setback, this occasion for worry, is really a showcase for love when our faith is in Him. Faith doesn’t change the circumstances, necessarily, but it changes our heart toward the circumstances as we are encouraged in faith to see the bigger picture of God’s love for us relative to the details of our personal experience.
In other words, faith reminds us God is present and active in our lives, that He is trustworthy, and that worry is a meaningless waste of perfectly good energy, because He is watching and caring and acting with love for our good.
And to me, that’s really Good News.
Each month a member of the Cook County Ministerium will offer Spiritual Reflections. Pastor Dale McIntire has served as pastor of the Cornerstone Community Church in Grand Marais since April of 1995.
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