Taste of Home columnist Sandy Anderson Holthaus recommends traveling with your potential spouse before getting married. Sandy is pictured here with her husband, Michael, in Amsterdam during their backpack trek through Europe.
My favorite brother-in-law proposed to his sweet girlfriend on St. Patrick’s Day in Ely. It wasn’t a matter of green beer goggles as apparently there are not many Irish in the town of Ely and my brother-in-law is quite German. He planned the moment with a bottle of champagne on the shoreline and the perfect view of the lake. So romantic!
I had been friend and roommate with him for many, many years so I was very excited to see him so happy and comfortable with his decision to marry “the one.” He just knew.
I, on the other hand, had an evaluation process when I chose Michael: three little words— backpack through Europe. Seriously, if you are even considering marriage, plan a trip abroad and you will learn everything you need to know about a life-partner.
Case in point:
One: Does he pack light?
I’m not just talking luggage. Is he a hoarder and collector of all your faults and mistakes? Does he save a laundry list of every misstep you have ever made to bring up at parties of mixed company or does he let it go and consider your quirky traits part of your charm? Light packers are more fun on trips, especially the very long trip of marriage.
Two: Does he
use a map?
I feel if a man is willing to use the God given resources provided, for example, a map, to navigate his way through the streets of Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, and Salzburg (just to name a few) then he is the kind of guy who is willing to help guide his family through job changes, household moves, the education system, and the blessed healthcare bill. Ignorance is not bliss, especially in a marriage. Three: Is he willing to try
new and foreign foods?
This is a big one as I sometimes try new recipes that may lean to the unusual. Though I have toned it down a bit and removed the roasted garlic maker from the cupboard, I still do not make fried chicken as well as his mother, nor am I able to make his grandmother’s famous graham cracker dessert. My husband is willing to eat almost anything to stave off hunger and this is a very lovable trait.
Four: Does he try to
speak the language?
Contrary to popular belief, not everyone in Europe speaks “some” English and even those who can are scattered and hard to understand—like me when I am frazzled and trying to make a point. Is he willing to take the time, and sometimes use a translation dictionary, to fully understand the situation before throwing up his hands in frustration? Trust me you want someone who is willing to understand the complicated dialogue we women sometimes use to make our point. To some it all sounds like French.
And finally Five: Is he
willing to share the load?
Literally.
When you find the perfect lead crystal bowls at a little shop in Prague does he offer to put a few in his backpack to help you avoid a hernia? Knowing full well he will be carrying around an extra 20 pounds for the next three weeks and risking a thorough frisking at customs. If so he, as a husband, will be willing to help unload the groceries, move furniture around the living room just because you need a change and sling hay bales to feed a horse he will never ride. He is truly the guy for me!
Welcome to the family Heather Holthaus!
Choose your life’s mate carefully.
From this one decision will come
90% of all your happiness or 90% of
your misery.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Tastes Like Home columnist Sandy (Anderson) Holthaus lives on an alpaca farm in South Haven, MN with her
husband, Michael, and their children Zoe, Jack and Ben. Her heart remains on the North Shore where she grew up
with her parents, Art and LaVonne Anderson of Schroeder. She enjoys writing about her childhood and mixes
memories with delicious helpings of home-style recipes.
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