Dear God, was that a hello or a goodbye?

 

As we rush through everyday life sometimes we see so many people we never really think about the fragility of it all. We assume that there will always be one more hello and one more goodbye. Then a tragedy hits and we realize it only takes a moment for it all to become final, there will be no more hellos and we had our last goodbye.

For me it hits me like a ton of bricks. For a minute I can’t breathe and then the sadness comes in waves.

After that I hang on to my family like I will never see them again every time they leave the house. We share a lot more hugs and “I love yous” for several weeks and then we start to heal and forget until the next tragedy strikes and we start all over again.

The first realization that I could lose someone I love came when I was young and the neighbor girl’s dad was killed in an accident at work. I was so surprised. In my world, dads went to work and they came home every night for supper. The thought that they might be doing something dangerous during the day never occurred to me. I started to worry about my dad. I am not sure why I never worried about my mom…she was a stay at home mom for the most part so I guess death by laundry and vacuuming didn’t seem like a real danger at the time.

 

My young aunt was killed in a car crash with three other teens when I was a little girl. She had babysat for my brother and I just days before the accident. She was shy and funny and I remember she liked to tan on the roof of my Grandma’s house. She used a mixture of baby oil and iodine as a tanning lotion. It gave her skin a light brown glow. My brother and I would peel her sunburned back for her in the places she couldn’t reach. Funny what I remember after all these years.

When I graduated from high school I took a class to become a Certified Nurse’s Assistant. That qualified me for a job at the Cook County Hospital and Nursing Home. I took care of patients of all ages. One of the ladies there was so sweet. Her name was Phoebe. She was my favorite. (I almost named my daughter Phoebe…it’s not a name you hear much anymore but I think it’s so pretty.) She gave me a little Precious Moments pin that said “Dear God, Was That a Hello or a Goodbye?” I wore that pin on my uniform for the next several years and many people commented on it. It seems like a simple question yet it carries so much weight. We really never know what each encounter might bring….is it another hello or our last goodbye?

Something to think about as we once again face the sting and heartache of a tragic loss. Goodbye Sue, you are dearly missed. And when the angels ask me to recall, I will tell them I remember you.

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Taste of Home columnist Sandy (Anderson) Holthaus lives on a farm in South Haven, MN with her husband, Michael, and their children Zoe, Jack and Ben. Her heart remains on the North Shore where she grew up with her parents, Art and LaVonne Anderson of Schroeder. She enjoys writing about her childhood and mixes memories with delicious helpings of home-style recipes.