Most of the time computers make things easier. Writing this weekly column would be much harder if I were not able to cut and paste to rearrange my thoughts. Having a spreadsheet to automatically calculate a column of numbers is a great timesaver. And being able to instantly contact someone by email, text, or Facebook has its benefits.
But then there are other times when computers are nothing but trouble.
This week is one of those weeks. One of those weeks when my theory that computers are trying to kill us off by driving us insane seems to be happening.
I do not understand why computer programmers— or perhaps it is the computers themselves—are driven to update things. My laptop at home, my computer at work, my handy-dandy smartphone, all periodically insist that I allow an update to take place.
A person can’t ignore these requests forever. If you do you run the risk of your expensive piece of electronics becoming a worthless paperweight.
I learned that lesson the hard way. My laptop kept asking if I wanted to update and I kept declining. I knew if I updated, it would change the look of my desktop and how I opened, closed and saved files and who knows what else. So I attempted to ignore the update. Until my computer crashed and I had to spend three hours on the phone with the technicians to install the updates that did indeed change how things worked.
I was able to use my laptop again, I just had to relearn half of the functions that before the update came naturally.
This happened again this week, this time to my email program. For years my email has come to me in a relatively unchanged inbox format. But last week I logged in and everything looked different. The familiar sidebar with the inbox, sent, draft and junk list was all rearranged. The list of emails that appears upon opening no longer has a click and drag bar to expand the subject line so it can be read more easily. My contact list is no longer a simple list of names, but is now a hodge-podge of bright multicolored circles. And most frustrating of all, my carefully crafted email groups have ceased to function.
I have tried over and over again to send out a group email, on Internet Explorer, on Firefox, on Safari and on Google Chrome to no avail.
As I’ve muddled along the old way, entering emails one at a time, I’ve wondered over and over why the programmers decided to “update” the email program. It was working perfectly fine.
I’ll get it figured out eventually. It is just frustrating in the meantime.
And it solidly reinforces my opposition to the idea of computer-driven cars. These autonomous vehicles have been in the news a lot lately. A Time.com business article predicts that computer-controlled cars will be available in showrooms by 2019.
However, Time cautions that technology will have to greatly improve before this becomes a reality. The engineers designing these self-driving cars tell Time that “sensor-based technologies” and “connected-vehicle communications” need to converge. Or as Time puts it, essentially, cars need to be able to communicate with other vehicles on the road so they don’t bash into each other.
I find it difficult to believe it will ever happen. I’ve seen the gobbledygook that comes through a fax machine or in email when something goes awry in transmission. I’ve observed how confused iPhone’s Siri or the GPS in my car gets if you don’t ask a question in the manner it expects. I’ve heard my backup alarm dramatically alert when I am nearing a blade of grass behind me.
All of these technologies would need to be perfected to ensure that a computer could maneuver down the highway. And if it all came together and the car was able to cruise safely down the road sans human driver? You know what would happen. Along would come an update!
Jane! Stop this crazy thing!
George Jetson
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