What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? Family, health, food, friends, a job? Counting our blessings is good, but an attitude of thankfulness/ gratitude can propel us way deeper, providing us with a profound perspective to last long beyond Thanksgiving Day.
Reading about thankfulness in the New Testament, I was surprised by how much Paul writes about it. Writing to members of the new Christian movement, he sounds like a broken record, reminding people to be grateful. Here’s a sampling: “Don’t be boastful, but be grateful.”
“Don’t think impure thoughts, but be thankful.”
“Don’t love money, but be grateful.”
“Don’t wallow in your weakness but be thankful.”
“Don’t get drunk, but be grateful.”
“Don’t worry but be thankful.”
“Don’t be bitter, but be grateful.”
“Don’t be greedy, but be thankful.”
“Don’t be angry, but be grateful.”
“Don’t be discouraged, but be thankful.”
Odd, I thought. How could one practice possibly be the antidote to so many varied problems? How could symptoms such as boastfulness, impurity, greed, weakness, drunkenness, bitterness, anger, discouragement all be treated with the same medicine?
The truth is this: Gratitude (thanksgiving) can change our perspective and with that, our lives. Here are some ways that thankfulness can change us.
First of all, as we cultivate thankfulness, we begin paying attention to gifts around us— friends, family, beauty, life. Gratitude moves us to a kind of worship as we stop and pay attention. We notice what we’ve been given, rather than what we don’t have. Madison Avenue pulls us in the opposite direction, ads reminding us of what we lack—looks, clothes, camping equipment, partner, fine food—and telling us a lie, that if we had this thing or that, THEN we would be happy. Gratitude roots us in a framework of abundance, rather than scarcity.
Second, thankfulness can help us live in the present, rather than in the past or the future. In C. S. Lewis’ book Screwtape Letters,
a senior demon counsels his junior apprentice thus: “The present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered them.”
Screwtape
goes on to suggest that the younger demon try to get his “client” to dwell on the past—either nostalgically as “the good old days” or in bitterness over what happened. Or, the demon mentor argues, it’s as good to get the “client” to be always looking toward the future—either with fear or with a sense that life will begin later, when x or y has happened. Gratitude can root us in the present, which is all we really have.
Third, our gratitude in the present may build our sense of trust and hope. Working with a group lately, I asked this question: What is something that you are grateful for NOW, that you found it hard to be grateful for THEN? Theanswers were fascinating: finding out I was pregnant, hitting that moose, realizing I was alcoholic, being diagnosed with cancer. These “gifts”—which didn’t seem that when they happened—became “gifts” over time. Gratitude for these reminds us of the amazing grace surrounding us, of strength made stronger in weakness, of hope that we have no matter what.
How might we build gratitude into our lives?
A daily remembering of the day’s most life-giving moments can help us tune into them more fully, noting them and giving thanks. (Thecenturies old practice of the Ignatian Examen encourages this daily remembrance.)
Taking time to share what we’re grateful for with others, around a table or before bed, helps us to notice them more deeply.
Gratitude is infectious. As we share our thanksgivings with others, we spread some of the gratitude “magic” around the room, the town, the county.
Give thanks.
Each month a member of the
Cook County Ministerium will
offer Spiritual Reflections. For
November, our contributor is
Mary Ellen Ashcroft, mentor
of Spirit of the Wilderness
Episcopal Church and founder
of WindCradle Retreat.
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