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I was playing Hotter and Colder with my nephew and niece last weekend. That is where you hide something and say Hotter / Colder depending on how close they come to the item. The game is only fun if it isn’t 27 below windchill! Let me say, we played the game inside.
I am amazed at how cold the weather has been lately. Last week I didn’t leave my house for an entire week. Every once in a while I would open the door for fresh air and the floor started making crackling sounds in protest. That, my friend, is a very good sign to stay indoors. Of course, my husband, brother in-law, son, and nephew saw it as a good sign to drive to Green Bay for a Packer game!
I thought the time was right to find humor in the cold, so I found these Johnny Carson lines on how cold it was outside. Pretend Johnny himself is reading these to you. Much funnier then.
It’s so cold…
The rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
Lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
You have to break the smoke off your chimney.
You have to open the fridge to heat the house.
Your false teeth chatter and they are still in the glass.
Police tell a robber to freeze, and he does.
Our words froze in midair and we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we hear what we were talking about.
Mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
We had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post.
Pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
Lady Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
I chipped my tooth on my soup.
Dunkin’ Donuts is serving coffee on a stick.
I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
I saw a gangsta pull his pants up.
I’m thankful for hot flashes.
It is so cold that a flasher was seen describing himself to three different women this morning.
I laughed out loud at these! I look forward to a warmer week to come but it’s pretty bad when 20 degrees above is a heatwave! Hugs and Peace to you all, Happy 2022. Sandy
Here’s one for my dad, a carpenter.
“If you are in a freezing room and want to stay warm and comfortable, you should always stick to the corners because they are all 90 degrees.”
Hot Dishes for Cold Days:
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