In June and July, when I look out on Highway 61 on a Saturday morning, 75 percent of the vehicles I see are pickups towing motorboats. What fascinates me is that roughly the same number is going north and south.
I’m not much of a fishing person, but I guess people from somewhere south are going north, because that’s where they are going to catch the “big one.” And people from north are going south, because that’s where they are going to catch the “big one.”
I wonder: Could each of these fishing people go to a closer lake, netting pretty much what they’d catch by driving either north or south, without the drive and expense? Could they end up with more time doing what they presumably want most of—fishing?
Hmmmmm. Maybe there’s a life lesson here.
How many of us spend time heading toward the elusive, expecting to find IT somewhere else? A perfect beach, a holy site, a fantastic speaker, an amazing adventure— all of these beckon us to go elsewhere to find what we’re looking for. When, in fact, what we’re looking for is right here, under our noses.
Or I know people who move from church to church looking for the best one— the best music (praise band or organ and choir) or most compelling sermons or perhaps the purest one. As famous preacher Charles Spurgeon said to an eager church-shopper: “Don’t go looking for the perfect church, because you’ll never find it. And if you find it, don’t join it, or you’ll ruin it.”
Some people do this with religion—assuming since they were raised in a Christian church, they know all about that faith—so they move on to try a spot of Buddhism or a sprinkle of native spirituality.
Or maybe what they’re seeking is even more damaging; tired of a spouse or partner, they assume that another person has what they need or want. “Finally I’ve met the one!”
I’m not against travel. Sometimes it’s right to move on from a particular church. We can learn from other religions. There are marriages so toxic that they need to be left.
But many of us are drawn toward imitating those pickups towing boats, chasing the elusive rather than staying put.
Staying put can be challenging and counter-cultural. Many religious orders require their members to take a vow of stability: members promise not to move around. Why stability? Wise leaders realized that, left to ourselves, we will look outside our settings for the answer to our longings.
Stability leads to character. One of the biggest shifts in the last hundred years, argues James Davison Hunter, in his book, Death of Character, has been our societal move from honoring character to the exaltation of personal satisfaction. The Apostle Paul put it this way, “…and we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us” (Romans 5: 3-4).
Moving on, for the sake of personal satisfaction, breaks communities and partnerships and can lead to superficiality.
Chasing the elusive can also lead to loneliness. In his talk to the InterFaith Action Network, journalist Ray Suarez said that many of the “nones” (who answer “none” when questioned about religious affiliation) are lonely. When asked where they find community, most responded, “on-line.” Suarez argues that the gift of “being known,” in a setting where you will see some of the same people week by week, where together you can seek to serve neighbors and the world—that these, rather than some creed, are what belonging to a faith community can offer to a lonely world.
By staying put, we may grow in character—gaining the wisdom, insight, persistence, and patience we need more deeply than we need a change of setting. We need community to affirm this counter-cultural value – of stability, character growth, and depth – in a society that invites us to keep looking for bigger fish in other places.
Each month a member of the Cook County Ministerium will offer Spiritual Reflections. This month’s contributor is Mary Ellen Ashcroft, Vicar of Spirit of the Wilderness Episcopal Church.
Leave a Reply