I received several Facebook notices that August 8 is National Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day…thank goodness my neighbors love me too much to bring on such torture, but then I thought about those that fell victim to such a malicious crime.
How would they ever trust again? Would they now be inclined to spend the eve of August 8 protecting their porches? Would this be a 24-hour vigilance? Is this a crime to be committed only under the veil of complete darkness or are those horrific zucchini neighbors tossing this vile green monster onto porches in broad daylight? I shudder to think of it.
I have decided to retaliate by declaring October 10 (my birthday) National Catapult Zucchini in a Lake Day! I am sure a balloon catapult tied between two trees should do the trick. (Amazon $19.99) The idea came to me while thinking of the Renaissance Festival.
This era knew how to party. Dancing in the streets, drinking gallons of wine and best of all catapulting anything and everything! What better way to rid our towns of yucchini and have fun while doing it? This could be a family affair. Children could bring their broccoli and squash! Infants could bring their strained peas! (frozen, not in the jar) That overabundance of garden fare that you no longer have time to can…let’s feed it to the fishes!
If any environmentalists feel that the zucchini will either pollute the lake or harm the fishes than I beg of you to start a campaign to stop the growing and distribution of the yuckinni. They now say that it is a fruit, but I am not buying it, so stop that nonsense. And for goodness sake do not put it in my brownies, lasagna or muffins. Yes, yes, I know I can’t taste it…if so what is the point?
Here I have given you three perfectly worthless recipes that highlight yucchini as the main ingredient. No hiding behind chocolate or cheese here, if you make these you know what you’re eating and yes, you can now taste this horrible “fruit” for what it is…yucky!
Taste of Home columnist Sandy (Anderson) Holthaus lives on a farm in South Haven, MN with her husband, Michael, and their children Zoe, Jack and Ben. Her heart remains on the North Shore where she grew up with her parents, Art and LaVonne Anderson of Schroeder. She enjoys writing about her childhood and mixes memories with delicious helpings of home-style recipes.
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