Capture the Flag

 

There are some very important days on the calendar. Days for gratitude, remembrance, and recognition. Days where we honor those who’ve served. Days where we celebrate those who lead.

And, of course, Flag Day.

I suppose we get 365 days a year. It’s impossible to spend and give them all meaning. So, after a few drinks, even lawmakers have to pass the time. They want to give the people a day that’s both patriotic and so anodyne that their political enemies on both the right and left cannot attack it. Hence: Flag Day.

Flag Day, as I hope you do not already know, is a day when we celebrate, um, the American flag. It’s a nice flag, the American flag. There are stars, of course. Some stripes, as you know. And the thing that really makes the flag a flag is that it’s rectangular.

You might find flags on castles, public buildings, or car dealerships. Car dealerships really will do anything wind-related to get your attention. Hence, that flag flapping away sandwiched between two dancing balloon guys. That doesn’t make me want to buy a car, but other folks might really have a low bar for razzle dazzle.

I will say Flag Day makes me think about things I often don’t – namely flags. But now that I’m thinking about flags, I wonder: What about the flagpole? It seems the flagpole is every bit as important as the flag. And there’s another ingredient in this arrangement that’s equally important to a flag. Certain atmospheric conditions, if you catch my drift. Well, one atmospheric condition: Flags need wind. Without wind, you know what a flag is? A flagpole. On the other hand, with some wind and a good flagpole, a flag can really do its thing! A flag can represent. A flag can symbolize. And, most enjoyably, a flag can flap.

But the American flag isn’t the only flag out there. Surely on Flag Day we can also celebrate other great flags out there, like the checkered flag at the finish line and the white flag of surrender. The most famous flag might be the Jolly Roger, the skull atop two crossed thigh bones. That flag makes me think that pirates really could have benefited from one more class in anatomy.

Most parades also have flags. This is largely because flags are much cheaper than floats. You will often see flags in a parade held by marching bands. These flag bearers are called the color guard. Since flags, even colored ones, don’t make much noise, the primary responsibility of flags in a marching band is to distract you from the music.

But no self-respecting column about flags would be complete without acknowledging signal flags. Of course, signal flags were used to communicate ship to ship or ship to shore. I once thought I’d go my whole life without writing the words either “ship to ship” or “ship to shore” but Flag Day does funny things to men. It’s not like I brought up semaphore signaling. But, and I’m going out on a limb here, maybe on Flag Day, we should bring up semaphore signaling? Semaphore signaling is an important way we used to communicate non-verbally remembered today for being slightly better than communicating non-verbally with two soup cans on either end of a long string.

In the end, the thing you really have to say about Flag Day – and there’s no getting around it –Flag Day really is a day for flags. But please remember the flagpoles and gusts of wind. No one does it alone. Not even a flag.