Every once in awhile we run a feature called Who are our elected officials? We like to help people be involved in the political process, so we periodically supply contact information for everyone from commissioner to president.
We don’t have a set schedule for running this helpful information. We run it as soon as possible after an election when office holders change. It’s been awhile since the last election and we have had a few requests for the information, so we ran it in last week’s issue. As usual, we tested the websites and phone numbers to make sure nothing has changed.
I’ve noticed a new trend. It seems like most elected officials now have a real person answer their phone. This is really nice, although I feel a bit silly when I’m just testing phone numbers. When a real person answers I have to explain why I’m calling, wasting both my time and theirs.
When I’m just confirming that the number is correct, I’d rather reach an answering machine. I can just hang up and move on. That’s what happened about six months ago when I called the tollfree number for the White House.
I joked that the president might answer and chatted with colleagues while the phone rang. When the answering machine came on, I listened to ensure that it was indeed the White House. A pleasant voice told me I could press this number or that to talk about particular issues or to find out about White House tours.
I hung up and wondered if the Secret Service monitored phone calls. Would they investigate me for calling the White House and hanging up?
They didn’t, but after my faux pas when I called to check the tollfree number last week, they might. Again, I wasn’t really paying attention when I dialed the number to the White House. As I waited for the recorded message, I was only halfway listening, paying more attention to the conversation my co-workers were having.
And suddenly, a male voice— a real, live, male voice answered, “Hello, you have reached the White House. How may I help you?”
Startled at reaching a person instead of a machine, I blurted, “Oh, I didn’t expect to get a real person.”
The steady voice replied, “You’ve reached the White House. How may I direct your call, Ma’am?”
I tried to match his calm demeanor and said, I hoped, more professionally, “I was just calling to make sure this was the correct number to reach the White House.”
“Yes, M’am,” he replied, “You have reached the White House, Ma’am.”
“Okay…I work at a newspaper in Minnesota and we sometimes publish the phone numbers to contact elected officials and I just wanted to make sure,” I explained, hoping that I didn’t sound like an utter fool.
“That’s fine, Ma’am,” said the oh-so-proper voice. “Is there anything else we can do for you today, Ma’am?”
Since I once lived near Washington, D.C., I thought I’d attempt to make a little small talk so I sounded less flaky. “So, how is the weather? Is it getting humid already?” I asked.
“The weather is fine, Ma’am,” came the oh-so-serious voice, making me feel even flakier.
There was an awkward pause as I tried to think of how to disengage myself from the call with some dignity, and one more time the gentleman asked, “Is there anything else we can do for you today?”
Embarrassed, I said no thank you and quickly made my goodbyes.
Now I really wonder if I’ll be investigated. I can just see the cool and calm military-sounding fellow adding my name to the list of kooks-who-call-the-White- House list. I hope not. But I won’t be too surprised if Homeland Security or the Secret Service shows up on my doorstep. Protocol is etiquette with a government expense account
Judith S. Marin
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