Blessings

‘Blessings.’ I’m intrigued by the ways we use the word ‘bless’ in common parlance: we say a blessing before a meal or say, “God bless you!” when someone sneezes.

But “blessing” is more than that. ‘Blessing’ may be when we help someone in need or serve a neighbor. It can be our taking time to encourage another, recognizing and affirming something we see in them.

This kind of ‘blessing’ brings to mind my high school English teacher, Mrs. Holzer. As a bored, rebellious teen, I landed in her honors Greats class and was forced to read The Iliad, The Odyssey, and Dante’s Inferno. My attitude was bad, but she took me aside and told me I could do this, could read and understand and reflect on literature. Her encouragement, her ‘blessing,’ opened a door for me, leading into the joys of learning and writing. (I’m not sure if I would have gone to college without her ‘blessing.’)

Who has given you that kind of ‘blessing’? Who has seen something in you that you could not see in yourself and encouraged it, called you into being your best self?

This is the gift that we each have the power to give each other—the gift of ‘blessing.’

Pondering this, I wondered: what is the opposite of ‘blessing’? It must be ‘cursing:’ but not just saying bad words. ‘Cursing’ someone means limiting them by our words to them (or about them.) We’ve all experienced this—criticism of some kind that cuts us to the quick. I’ve known many students who were afraid to write because they’d been ‘red-inked’ to the max. Or those who’ve been bullied or made to feel worthless in any number of ways. (One of the challenges unique to our time is that social media makes it too easy to critique, slander, and bully anonymously.)

Like the effects of ‘blessing,’ the effects of ‘cursing’ go beyond feeling encouraged or discouraged. These ‘blessings’ and ‘cursings’ open doors toward life and love, or toward alienation and hatred. The valued go on to value others. The bullied go on to bully others.

I believe this is true whether our ‘curses’ and ‘blessings’ are spoken face to face or as gossip. They still somehow affect the person’s possibilities. James writes, “If any think they are religious, and do not bridle their tongues but deceive their hearts, their religion is worthless (1:26).”

When the prophet Isaiah speaks about the coming Messiah, he writes this: “A bruised reed, he will not break. A dimly burning wick, he will not quench (Isaiah 42:3).” What gentleness, what tender loving care we see in that image of Christ.

There’s a tenderness about the human soul; we must be careful not to bruise each other, to put out the light in each other. Instead, as we bring blessing, we can love each other into more grace and growth.

Each month a member of the Cook County Ministerium will offer Spiritual Reflections. This month’s contributor is Mary Ellen Ashcroft, Vicar of Spirit of the Wilderness Episcopal Church.