BEYOND REASON

Gratitude, which comes from the Latin gratia, means grace, graciousness, or grateful, is a wonderful thing. Studies show the more gratitude you have, the happier you are. Who do you think is happier, the guy in his new home, grateful for the roof over his head? Or the nitpicker going on and on about the fact that the house has no windows. Or siding. Or stairs.

So, this year, as we move into our new, unfinished house, in addition to being grateful for my wife and kids, extended family, friends, dogs I like to pet, etc., I have another, smaller, ancillary list of things I am grateful for as well. Things I have hitherto overlooked. Not again. Never forget!

This year I am grateful for furniture. The first couple of weeks in the house, we were without furniture. The first few days are kinda fun. “We’re camping!” we tell the kids while we eat take-out on the floor. Then a week rolls by and it doesn’t feel like camping anymore. It feels like a test I’m not going to pass. There’s a reason even early man sat on a rock. Because anything is better than the ground.

One day I came downstairs and I saw the wife sitting, not on the ground, but on a folding chair. She had a self-satisfied look on her face. And I said, “Hey! Where’d you get that chair?” She responded, a little smug, “In the garage.” I said, “Can I have one?” She shrugged, indifferent, as if to say, I don’t know, can you?

This year I am also grateful for appliances. Did you know there are a variety of machines that do things for you? For instance, there is one exceptional machine wherein you put dirty clothes into it, add soap, and press a button!! They call it a washing machine. It’s been many decades since I’ve been without such a machine but why, oh, why did this month of my life have to be when one family member is potty training?!

I also must give thanks for the great refrigerator machine. It is similar to a cooler except this machine doesn’t just turn your ice into water; it also makes ice. Also, it keeps solids and liquids cool (beer or wine, if you’re into that sort of thing) even if you forget to add ice.

Another powerful appliance machine is The Range – part stove, part oven! It cooks your food! They say cooked food is reason why Man’s brain grew so big (because Man didn’t have to use all that energy digesting anymore). This Range will cook three meals a day if you want! It is a marvel. There is one important caveat. Just having a Range in the kitchen is not enough. The Range must be connected. In our case to gas and power. And while the unconnected version will be invariably cleaner, it will not cook your food.

I like to cook but when that’s not an option, I like to talk about fasting. I tell my family the latest science shows an array of health benefits associated with intermittent fasting and they interrupt, Yeah, what’s for dinner? I say, ‘Didn’t you eat yesterday?’ They sigh, unamused. And that is why this year I am also grateful for restaurants and the people that work there. If you are not familiar, these restaurant places, staffed with hard-working cooks and servers, will, for ready money, make and serve you food. Then they clean up after you, which is nice if you’ve ever seen two kids under ten “eat”.

This year I am grateful for the internet. While technically we were never really without internet so long as we were willing to sit with our backs against the wall, in the tiny corner of the one room nearest our neighbors’ router, I longed for more. I called our provider many times a week, enduring hold times during which I was able to enjoy all seven volumes of In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust. When I finally got through, I would ask: May I please have one internet? Someone on the other end would schedule an appointment only to have no one show up. I would call back, wait on hold, and start the process again. When a technician finally did show, they would invariably say another technician would need to come visit at an unspecified later date. A slow trickle of technicians followed. The worst part of not having internet is that every day your family keeps asking, ‘When are they coming? Is today the day?’ I would respond. ‘They said they were coming.’ And they look at you like: You can’t even get the internet?

This year I am grateful for neighbors. Remember that old cliché about borrowing a cup of sugar? Well, if you move into a house without much of anything, you may find yourself borrowing odder things than that. Like soy sauce. And paper plates. And cutlery. And a shower. And a load of laundry. (Did I mention someone in our house is potty training?)

They say it takes a village. But I thought they were talking about raising kids. I did not know they were talking about how many people it would take to move a dining room table. I am grateful for all who lent a hand – though you’re not done yet! That said, I wish someone would tell my three-year-old who runs to us mid-move, puts her small hands under the very heavy object, and shouts, “I’m helping” that she is in fact, not helping.

Recently our nine-year-old recently was eating a meal I cooked for him on the range. He looked around. The place had some windows now, a smattering of furniture, running water, and lights. He said with an approving nod, “I like our house.” I appreciate his optimism. And imagination.

Finally, I am grateful for patience, a muscle this house builds every day. Patience is another trait associated with happiness. Who do you think is happier? The man confident a house will one be a home or the guy looking through an opening that will one day hold a window, checking the time, wondering if the guy coming to hook up the internet will really show? Or if he even exists?