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Winter’s past. Springs sprung. Now summer approaches with the intensity of a juicy kamikaze toward my windshield. This means one thing: bugs vying for that top spot – Best Bug on the North Shore – 2021!
No one likes bugs. Unless you’re a frog, gecko, or spider. Or a very small bird. Each bug brings a different skill set to the annual competition. House Flies are agile. What gnats lack in teeth, they make up for in ubiquity. Mosquitos not only suck your blood but also inject saliva into your skin as a special, unwanted parting gift. From June Bugs to Black flies, it’s always a race to the top. But will speed alone get them there? Let’s see.
Honorable Mention
Cicada. Though not a North Shore bug, we would be remiss if we didn’t acknowledge the swarm of cicadas that grounded the press plane following Air Force One. Not quite the promised apocalypse, yet one brave cicada made it all the way to the collar and neck of the commandeer and chief. Though the President brushed him aside, it was still a big moral victory for this small bug.
5. The House Fly
What separates the common house fly from the rest of the bunch is its ability to endure. Feel powerful because you killed five? Step outside to toss their remains and watch three more wander in. Lower your car window to talk to a friend? Two find their way into the vehicle. Their buzzing sound is like a neighbor two houses down with his first leaf blower. The best you can hope for is to find one in your soup.
4. Gnats
Small in stature, behemoths of annoyance. The littlest on this list is equally at home in your eyes, ears, mouth, or nose. In the mornings, they may warm themselves in your coffee. Come happy hour, you might find one enjoying a refreshing dip in your Merlot. It’s a numbers game for these guys. You are one; they are many. You do the math.
3. Black Fly
Though some people call it a horse fly, perhaps because it’s roughly the size of a very small horse, this gigantic fly bites without anesthesia. Attempting to kill it with a tennis racket will leave a dent in your car if you follow through properly. Also, the black fly is easily the most difficult on the list to outrun. While, I am not Usain Bolt, surely I can outrun any insect in the forty. Right? Wrong. The Black Fly can keep pace with our greyhound. These contenders annoy man and beast alike. This 2020 winner of Best Bug dropped two rungs this year because they didn’t make the most of their ten-day window.
2. June Bug
Many think this redundantly named bug – the largest on this list – is ugly but harmless. The June doesn’t bite, makes no noise, and they’re comically slow walkers. They’re also equally ineffective at whatever the heck they’re doing upright or lying on their back. But they fly. Sort of. They navigate the skies with the precision of someone on their first flight, under the influence, with no knowledge of physics. Though they can literally crash anywhere, they somehow find your hair, neck, or shirt. What separates them from so many others on this list is their ability to surprise. Anyone on this list can land on your shirt. But the June Bug has a gift for getting down that shirt. Then watch their victims jump and wriggle. I’ve even seen one disrobe. Underestimate this slow-going mover at your peril.
1. Mosquitos
An oldie but a goodie, mosquitos have been topping lists like this since the Jurassic period. Steady and committed, they linger just out of sight – under tables, hiding in the shadows. They follow you inside and out. In other parts of the world, they spread a range of diseases, from Dengue to Malaria to Zika. But here on the North Shore, they hunt for sport – or as they call it – food. They’re drawn to the carbon dioxide in your exhalation and feed night and day.
But what elevates the mosquito to the top of this year’s list is their ability to bring you to your feet. Cozied up in bed, eyes closed, breaths getting longer, you hear a tiny buzz fly past. Your eyes open, hoping it was just your imagination. But another flyby brings you to your feet like smelling salts. You turn on the light, arm yourself with a bedside magazine, and the hunt is afoot. But the mosquito hides in plain sight. There and not there all at once, your spouse wants to know what the hell you’re doing. When you end up sleeping on the couch, hiding under a far heavier blanket than necessary, you might use this time to contemplate the quiet power that makes the mosquito number one.
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