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In recent weeks, brother columnist Rob Perez has defamed both golf and pickleball. He asserted that golf desecrated nature and that pickleball was a board game masking as exercise. His friend and North Shore neighbor, Greg Kachinsky, was so mad that he went out and played both games on the same day. So there, Rob!
Now we discover that Rob played both golf and pickleball in the last year. He is out of both golf and pickleball closets!
Well, I, for one, am glad his fictions have been exposed. I am glad, too, that he was bullied or seduced into joining his father-in-law Evan, Dave Saari, and me for golf at Superior National last week. First, he said he would not golf with us but would “kinda”—sending Evan in his stead and joining us for libations afterwards. I told him that “… he needed to at least walk along to have an experiential basis for his defamatory opinions as well as paying for our drinks afterward.” He said, “If I am going to walk along, I might as well play, but he would grumble a lot, and wouldn’t we be embarrassed if he beat us.” Saari said that grumbling was part of the game; I said, “bring it on,” and I would pay for the drinks if he played.
Rob and Stephen
So, on a lovely day, we went to the Lutsen course. Evan, Dave, and I played 18 holes. Rob said he would be running during our first nine holes and would join us for the Lake course. When we met him at the 10th tee, he confessed he had been to the driving range! Some golf hater!
Dave and I had a good time watching Evan pound the ball down the course. Turns out he used to play every day. Despite his advanced age, he outdrove us all and had more pars than other scores. More notable was that, among his trips to the woods, Rob occasionally outdrove me and made a couple of long putts. Even more notable is that on the last hole, Saari hit one in the hole from 80 yards for an eagle. I am a witness to any claims that he makes that he made one eagle, but not more.
Along the way, I learned that Rob really does some of his writing looking over a golf course. He also is a regular tennis player and obviously a good athlete. Not once did he spy any Round Up, and I never heard any grumbling or swearing (from him). And he tried to tell friend Greg that his columns are humor and do not necessarily represent his actual observations or opinions. Well, he better be careful what he attacks next! People are reading his stuff.
Not withstanding all the woofing, we parted happily after a repast of potato chips, beer, and single malts. It is possible that we will do this again.
Although bullying and seduction were tried, perhaps in attacking golf so harshly he was actually, slyly, trolling for an invitation/challenge….
Him being fiction writer, we won’t count on him to declare himself truthfully.
Steve Aldrich is a retired Hennepin County lawyer, judge, and mediator, serving as judge from 1997-2010. He and his wife moved here in 2016. He likes to remember that he was a Minnesota Super Family Lawyer before being elected to the bench. Now he is among the most vulnerable to viruses. Steve really enjoys doing weddings, the one thing a retired judge can do without appointment by the Chief Justice. He writes this column to learn more about his new home area and to share his learnings with others—and to indulge his curiosities. Bouquets and brickbats to the editor or stevealdrich41@gmail.com. Copyright Stephen C. Aldrich and News Herald, 2022
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