The old man walked along the beach until he came across a young girl who was throwing something into the small breaking waves.
Upon closer inspection, the old man could see that the girl was tossing stranded starfish from the sandy beach, back into the shallows.
“What are you doing young lady?” he asked knowingly. “Don’t you know you can’t make a difference to all these dying starfish?”
Smiling, the girl bends down and once more tosses a starfish out into the water, saying serenely, “I just made a difference to that one . . .”
Read or hear the word “contribution” and we often think of someone wanting us to take out the checkbook. This is good and important, but let’s take a moment to think about “being a contribution.”
In the book, The Art of Possibility, author Benjamin Zander describes what it is to be a contribution. It is not about making a contribution but being one. Here’s how he describes it:
“I came up with a game called I am a contribution. Unlike success and failure, contribution has no other side. It is not arrived at by comparison. I found that the fearful question ‘Is it enough?’ and the even more fearful question, ‘Am I loved for who I am, or for what I have accomplished?’ could both be replaced by the joyful question, ‘How will I be a contribution today?’
It is important for humans to both give and receive. Each of us has strengths, each of us has weaknesses. What is empty for one of us can be filled by what is abundant for another. When we give, when we make a contribution, we feel vital and a part of the community. Being a contribution takes practice and more practice.
In this world of “selfies” and the annual “Christmas letter bragging” it can be difficult to focus on contribution and not just our personal achievements. When we contribute we go from self-concern to making a difference for others.
Perhaps we stop judging someone by their appearance or quit thinking we are the only one who can complete a job. Perhaps we take the time to listen when someone needs to share what is happening in their life.
Back to “the starfish.” We do not know the final outcome, we do not know how many starfish were saved or how many were not saved. What we do know is that one little girl “made a difference to that one . . .”
When we contribute, we go from self-concern to making a difference for others.
And isn’t that what it is all about?
Each month a local mental health therapist will discuss an area of mental health. This month’s contributor is Jodi Yuhasey of the Violence Prevention Center. If you need to talk to someone confidentially, call 218- 387-1262.
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