Cook County News Herald

Bald What!





 

 

The first thing I noticed when leaving Minnesota was that the rest of the country talks funny.

I found myself saying ”huh?” a lot during my recent visit to the south. It took a while but I eventually learned to translate Texan, Louisianan, Arkansan, and even Baltimorean. The Maryland accent was especially confusing until I took a minute to geographically place it and realized the accent had an East Coast slant.

I experienced the most trouble trying to understand a man from Georgia. It happened at a bonfire. He was being hospitable and offering a large plate filled with some kind of appetizers. The air was smoky and the sun setting, and in the deepening twilight I didn’t recognize what was on the platter, so I politely asked what it was.

“Bald peen.” He gave a huge pride-filled smile. My mouth dropped. I had no idea what he’d said. I didn’t want to be insulting, so I said in my politest Minnesotan, “Pardon?”

He gave me a strange look. Okay. Maybe not everyone uses the phrase “pardon me?” I didn’t know. He repeated the same indecipherable words, smiling and offering the tray again. Stepping closer, I realized it was filled with wet peanuts and asked. “Salted?”

“No, bald.”

I was stumped but smiled and as I picked up several watery peanuts, suddenly understood. “Ah. Boiled peanuts!”

“Bald peanuts,” he agreed, beaming and added that peanuts were a big crop in Georgia. That explained that. He was from Georgia. I am from Minnesota. No wonder we had a hard time communicating.

I also noticed that southerners always greet total strangers by asking how their day is. It’s not enough to just say hello.

I met a total stranger who has just moved into the neighboring RV site. “Hi!” I said in perfect lips-stretched-acrossteeth Minnesotan.

“How’re ya all doin?” she responded.

“Fine.” I bit off the words in normal Minnesota fashion and realized it didn’t sound as warm and friendly as her greeting, so I added, “And how’s your day?” This was not a normal Midwestern hello. Ordinarily I would never ask a stranger such a personal question.

But she understood it and answered with a smile. Apparently I had done it right.

The only folks who didn’t speak funny were our friends and neighbors from Wisconsin.


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