As I See It

Celebration of Life Event Journey…

1: As a 2nd Generation of World’ Best Donuts I was diagnosed with kidney failure and end stage renal disease.

I have had hypertension (hereditary) all my life. Then I was diabetic in later years and on metformin and now I have family kidney issues. I feel the system “dropped the ball” as I should have had red flags all over! When Covid hit the only thing, I felt that was important was COVID. Issues were pushed back on many people, so the result was no one told me or noticed my kidney function was down to 10… well below the 15; the only treatment left was dialysis 3 times a week.

I declined and chose to go on as long as I could. My family of the younger ones wanted to give me a kidney. Bless them, but they may need it for they have many years to go!

When hearing of my issues I stated I wanted my Celebration of Life while I was still here. My family agreed and stepped-up and we would have a “HumDinger” of a party!

Upon learning this news, I reached out to a “Spiritual Advisor” Evalyn Carlson. I figured I needed someone closer to the Lord to help me get across the finish line! She was going to be with me on this journey and she would be beside me the whole way and told me that God always has a plan.

I kept wondering what his plan was for me? I thank Him every day when I get up and have another day. I see people passing away around me. I see ones sick and dealing with their own issues.

As party plans were being made, we were watching the renovations of Harbor Lights under new management.

I was also getting ready for end of life and getting “my ducks in a row” as they said. Finding the crematorium, paying for my cremation, writing a Health Directive. I attended a class on Death with local Death Doulas. I wrote my obituary. I looked for my body bag to transport me in…

I watched too many CSI on TV and didn’t want the black body bag! But when you find out you google “Body Bags” they question your motives!

2: I reached out to friend and Wood Carver, Andrea Hoskins to make me a grave marker. She agreed and did a wonderful job, and she did say that this was a “One time deal” and not taking orders! I already knew my ashes were going in a Folgers Coffee can. It is my favorite beverage so only fitting they go in that! I already knew I would be laid to rest up at Poplar Grove where my family is buried. From the time we were young we watched our folks take care of the family graves there.

And still we were looking for a place to have our event

We were hoping that we could rent Harbor Light as it was being billed as an Event Center called UP Younder!

I felt a connection there as Sherrie and I were small when we went up to Harbor Light with our parents on Sundays and we played the organ in the back room. No dining rooms then and a barrel stove in back room! Then I spent many years waitressing in the dining room for Brad and Sandy, so hoped it could be the place for our party!

Jay and Sheila hired the band, Rock-a -Billy. They played at Harbor Light when Brad and Sandy owned it. They drew large crowds over the Fisherman’s’ Picnic. It had been 10 years since they last played there.

So, we had the band and things were going along and we got the ok to hold our Celebration of Life at Up Yonder! (Harbor Light). We would bring everything. We would have a potluck of food and have donuts, coffee and punch. They would have a cash bar for beverages.

I was making Tail Waggin” Doggy Treats to sell along with my Blank Floral Note Cards I make. I was hoping to sell my keyboard. My “spiritual advisor” was going to buy it at my party but guess God wanted her to go up to Heaven and play the Harp at the Pearly Gates!

We were getting excited. Christmas came and I wanted no presents, just to come to my Life’s Party. I wrote my life story and gave it to Kalli, the writer in our family. We were planning on a program, and whenever I walked by Kyler he just smiled and said “Wait and See” …

3: I wanted all the WBD generations to take part. Seon Montgomery, a family friend, would be Master of Ceremonies. He would even sing some songs for me. I had my son, Jay, not to forget his “spoons” as he played spoons since he was small with me when I played the guitar! I had my son, Joe, bring his guitar too. I asked Gary Croft to sing a song if he could. He has a wonderful voice! I had Stacey take over the dedication to Evalyn for me. Sherrie and I even sang “This world is not my Home” for Evalyn!

I still wondered about God’s plan. I knew I wanted a lot of laughter and memories at this party. Remember good times!

As the date came closer and we got excited, and my family really out did themselves!

I had decided that God’s plan was he was giving me this opportunity to prepare my family for my end of my life. I was still getting up every day. I had issues but not having daily pain. I used to go on the internet to find out what was coming, and it made me nuts, so the kidney doctor said to stay off the internet. Just go by how I felt! If any thing was new to call them!

Having my Celebration of Life while still here was not the usual way. Everyone thought it was a wonderful thing. We had a huge success and family and friends traveled from all over. And so many local came. Family and friends came from Detroit Lakes, Thief River Falls, Lake Park, St Cloud, Duluth and down by the cities. Even a great surprise from Mike Roberts and his son from Swainsboro, GA!

The weather was good for travelers since our blizzard a few days before. No snow or ice and not bitter cold!

I was overwhelmed with all the people and encouraging words. I was at a loss of words at times. I thank Cassidy Gecas and crew at UP Yonder. Thank you to all that came and enjoyed and had a wonderful time. Thank you to Rock-a Billy. They didn’t only play good music they actually put on a show! Just for us! I thank all who sent cards and gifts and encouraging words and the purchase of doggy treats and cards! Thank you for friends and family that traveled here!

Thank you to my family that lives here!

Thank you too all!

“When you get to the end of your rope. Tie a knot and hang on”!

Donna Wilson, Grand Marais