I once worked with a woman who had a no-nonsense personality. She wasn’t rude per se; she just liked to keep it all business and no chitchat. A real hard nut to crack. At one point we were entertaining clients from out of town and decided to take them to the play How to Talk Minnesotan. It was hilarious “don’t-cha-know,” and much to my surprise “Miss All Business” had a huge part in the play!
She was really funny and talented. Our clients commented, “Boy she must be a real hoot to work with!” “Um – no not really…” I thought but of course did not share.
I am aware that there is a time and a place for cutting up, but does the extreme have to be business crabby by day to comedian by night? Why was it more important for her to be funny for complete strangers than it would be to be nice to the people she worked with day after day after day? What was she like at home with her family?
This point stuck with me… Was she fun to live with?
How many times are we polite to our co-workers, neighbors and “other people’s children” only to snipe at our husband and kids for the smallest transgressions? Ahem, I am not necessarily talking about me….
But what would happen in our homes if we extended the same politeness to our families we do to our mailman Dick or my hairdresser Ann? “Please” and “thank you” and “I appreciate that” would be part of the everyday norm.
If we had to take a “text” or phone call while at the coffee shop with our spouse we would acknowledge it and apologize or say excuse me. We would not leave the other person hanging, feeling dumb. I actually knew a woman whose husband brought a book to read when they ate out together at restaurants…. seriously not a guy I would find fun to live with!
Having fun doesn’t have to take lots of time or energy. Greet your family when they come home with a smile. Send them off with a 10-second kiss or a five-second hug! This might sound short but try kissing the back your hand for a full 10 seconds…. it takes awhile.
Sign up for a joke of the day e-mail and share it over dinner. Offer to get a water or coffee if you’re getting something for yourself. Learn a couple of card tricks or keep dice in your purse for those times when you have to wait at a doctor’s office or restaurant. Ask your family to share three things about their day. I do this with my kids when I pick them up from school and it leads to lots of interesting stories. Use your imagination and remember to treat your family like you would a good friend…be fun to live with!
By the way…did you really just kiss your hand for 10 seconds? I knew it! I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.
Katharine Hepburn
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