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In an open, muddy field, Rob Perez joins Zephyrus who flies a kite in the brisk morning air.
ROB: Zephyrus!
ZEPHYRUS: My friends call me Z.
R: Z, a pleasure.
Z: Let’s throw caution to the wind and jump in.
R: Could you introduce yourself to my readers?
Z: Okay. Sure. I’m Zephyrus, god of the west wind. I bring the spring.
R: Oh, that’s good.
Z: It’s kind of my tagline.
R: I like it. And how do you spend your free time?
Z: I… (gestures to kite). When it warms up, I wind surf. I sail. I also like tennis but it’s hard for me to find a partner.
R: Yeah, tennis is harder in the wind. So, tailwinds? Headwinds? Do you have a favorite?
Z: Depends on if I’m coming or going.
R: Fair enough. Bob Dylan suggested the answer to many profound questions is blowin’ in the wind. Is this true?
Z: I can tell you a less whiny song about the wind is Cristopher Cross’s “Ride like the Wind”.
R: And which way is the wind blowin’ on The Scorpions “Rock me like a Hurricane”?
Z: That jam is category five rock!
R: Swell. Is the best wind in cinema “Gone with the Wind” or “The Wizard of Oz”?
Z: I like Marylyn Monroe’s “The Seven Year Itch”. (Off Rob’s look) Just kidding. Nobody’s topped “Steamboat Bill Jr.” with Buster Keaton.
R: Oh, yeah. Classic. (then) I noticed you’re carrying a lyre. You’re not a wind instrument kind of guy?
Z: Those are not ideal in my line of work.
R: Never thought of that.
Z: You know, talking to you is much more pleasant than everyone said it was going to be.
R: Oh, um, really?
Z: They said you were gonna blow hot and cold with a bunch of gotcha questions.
R: (turns page of his notebook) Well, err, as a matter of fact, there have been… complaints.
Z: (sighs) Hold onto your hat.
The winds in sky swirl. The kite zooms around wildly.
R: So you… (refers to notes) “bring the spring”.
Z: Yes, my west winds push winter out and usher in the season of renewal, rebirth, hope.
R: Well, it’s the end of April. On paper it’s Spring but around here it’s eighty degrees one day, four inches of snow the next; then high seventies, a day later it’s hailing. Hence, complaints.
Z: Sometimes it snows in April.
R: What is that, a Prince reference?
Z: You know it was just Earth Day?
R: Yes, I did know that.
Z: And what did you do for Earth Day?
R: I… um, observed it.
Z: You mortals treat this planet like you’ve got another one and then wonder where your seasons are going. Even the mighty Zeus only controls the weather. Learn the difference between weather and climate or you mortals will reap what you sow.
R: Boy, I thought this conversation was going to be breezier.
Z: So did I.
R: Okay, let’s end on a positive note.
Z: So long as we end.
R: Winnie the Pooh—
Z: –I love Winnie the Pooh!
R: Pooh calls a certain day of the week “Winds- Day”—
Z: Which is delightful!
R: And inaccurate. My research shows that no day is windier than any other. Care to comment?
The wind stops blowing and Z’s kite falls to the ground with a thump. Z. looks at Rob and shakes his head.
R: Is that a “no comment”?
Z. Yes. Yes, it is.
Shaking his head, Z. starts to wind up his string.
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