I received an e-mail last week from a friend who was threatening to take her son “behind the woodshed.” I really did laugh out loud as I had not heard that expression in some time. (Probably on an old Andy Griffith episode.) I asked my son Jack if he knew what it meant and surprisingly he did although he personally has never even seen a woodshed let alone the back of a woodshed! My current parenting tools do not involve a shed or wood of any kind, but hey it’s still early in the game.
I myself could not tell you about any personal woodshed trips, my dad would however make these really chintzy paddles out of cheap paneling. If we were naughty he would smack the paddle on the dining room table in a threatening way and I would burst into tears as the pieces flew.
He never needed to actually hit me with it. It was enough to just hear that crack! I would straighten up and “fly right”— for the next few days anyway. I tell my children I would probably start crying right now if I ever heard that sound again.
My great-grandma was big believer in smacking children. Her philosophy was “ them as they walk by because they’re either coming from heading to it!”
We laugh now but I was little scared of her most of young life.
My grandma on the other hand only spanked me once that I remember and I have to admit I deserved it. I playing with matches when was supposed to be napping and I accidentally lit the bedroom curtains on fire. I her I just woke up and room was burning. She didn’t believe me. I ended up with blistered bottom and blistered fingers but I never touched matches again! To this day don’t like paper matchbooks. I guess some lessons last forever when driven home with a swat.
I was just thinking, why was it “behind” the woodshed? Didn’t most people have outhouses? It seems to me the outhouse would have been an easier meeting place. It might be small, dark and not as sweet smelling as the woodshed, but all the more reason to get in and get out in a hurry. Or better yet not do anything to get sent there in the first place.
Today what would we use in place of the woodshed? Meet me at the side of the garage or out behind the fish house just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Maybe I’ll have my dad make me a supply of chintzy paddles and I’ll crack them on the table, though I run the risk of scaring myself more than the kids.
The difference between
a pat on the back and a
kick in the pants is about
three feet.
Unknown
Taste of Home columnist Sandy (Anderson) Holthaus lives on an alpaca farm in South Haven, MN with her husband, Michael, and their children Zoe, Jack and Ben. Her heart remains on the North Shore where she grew up with her parents, Art and LaVonne Anderson of Schroeder. She enjoys writing about her childhood and mixes memories with delicious helpings of home-style recipes.
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