Cook County News Herald

A criminal confession





 

 

The first time I did it was in the eye doctor’s office.

As I sat quietly like a good patient, waiting to hear my name called, I idly leafed through a magazine.

The magazine was filled with typical ladies’ articles… losing belly fat…keeping marriages fresh…recipes, recipes… and more recipes.

And then, there it was— the perfect meatloaf recipe. It looked unique, tasty and easy to make. I grabbed a pen from my handbag, found a scrap of paper and began copying the instructions.

The receptionist called the name of someone sitting nearby and suddenly I realized I would probably be called next, leaving me no time to finish acquiring this lovely recipe.

So I did what any normal woman would do. Making sure no one was watching, I held the magazine loosely closed with one hand and tore out the recipe with the other, then crammed it into my large handbag.

This first incident left me feeling slightly guilty, but I salved my conscience with many rationales; the magazine was old…the doctor probably wrote subscriptions off on his income tax returns… no one else would be interested in a plain old meatloaf recipe. Other people must do the same thing. I couldn’t be the only person in the world guilty of this crime.

I went home, made the meat loaf and it was so good, I added it to my repertoire.

Crime does pay.

Not getting caught emboldened me and I went on to transgress many times throughout the years.

It could happen anywhere— in the clean white atmosphere of a physician’s waiting room, or the radiologist’s office. It didn’t matter. If the recipe or information was good enough, I filched it. The only exception was in lawyer’s offices and they usually didn’t offer my type of magazine.

This habit persisted until a few weeks ago at the dentist’s office. The situation was typical. I was waiting for my turn and started by reading the Duluth News Tribune, then went on to examine the magazine selection.

Picking one up, I was about to look through it, when I noticed a note written on yellow paper, taped to the front page.

Please do not tear out articles. We will copy.

What a simple solution. A win-win situation.

I mentioned that to the receptionist who agreed and admitted it wasn’t her idea. Another gal at the office had conceived of this bright idea and affixed the notes to the magazines.

Then, the receptionist went on to confess that while the other employee was taping the notes to the magazines, she was digging around in her handbag and accidentally came up a recipe she had filched in another office while waiting. “I decided I’d better hide it quick before I got caught!”

Happy to know I wasn’t the only person in the world guilty of this crime, we chatted for some time, rationalizing our behavior.

I continued my wait for the dentist, all the while looking through magazines but, try as I might, couldn’t find a recipe worth stealing, or in this case, copying.


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